Posted by Nancy (216.236.5.78) on July 15, 2000 at 11:20:10:
OIL SHORTAGE
There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.
Well, here's the answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered to check the oil. Didn't know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical. All the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.
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More blonde jokes
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2
in the morning, the wife undoubtedly blonde),picked up
the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I
know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't
know, some young woman wanting to know if the coast is
clear."
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Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it
up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says,"Hmm,
this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the
compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says,
"You dummy, it's me!"
******************************************************
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so
she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his
apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she
finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde
is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The
blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."
******************************************************
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals. She proudly says,"Go ahead, ask me, I know
all of them." A friend says, "O.K.,what's
the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh,
that's easy, W."
******************************************************
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the
first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked
at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land
on the sun, you idiot! you'll burn up!" said the
Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not
stupid, you know. We're going to land at night!"
******************************************************
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to
see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights
and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
on his bullhorn and yelled,"PULLOVER!". "NO," the
blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
******************************************************
The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a
position in his company. He wanted to find out
something about her personality so he asked, "If
you could have a conversation with someone, living or
dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded,
"The living one."
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All people smile in the same language,
Nancy
;-)
ps I love the first one!