Posted by Terry S. (24.24.79.45) on July 12, 2000 at 11:04:20:
The Awakening
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst
of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks, and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a
child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside,
you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle
of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something
to
change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over
the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince
Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there
aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that
any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you; and in
the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone
will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you
are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself; and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of
self-approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to
you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can
really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say
what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will
always be there for you; and that it's not always about you. So, you learn
to stand on your own, and to take care of yourself; and in the
process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers... and you begin to accept
people
as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human
frailties; and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of
forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around
you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have
been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the
crap
you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look,
and how much you should weigh; what you should wear and where you should
shop, and what you should drive; how and where you should live, and
what you should do for a living; who you should sleep with, who you should
marry, and what you should expect of a marriage; the importance of having
and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And
you begin assessing and redefining who you are and what you really
stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you
begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should
never have bought into to begin with; and in the process you learn to go
with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is
power and glory in creating and contributing; and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together
the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save
the
world... and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the
importance of setting boundaries, and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry,
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to
love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk
away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship.
You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent,
more
lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that
bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and
not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn
that just as people grow and change, so it is with love...and you
learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just
to make you happy.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror
and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a
perfect 10, and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head
and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings
of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want
things
and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it
is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect; and you won't settle for less.
And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you
with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you begin to
care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced
diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise.
You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and
fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the
body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe..
you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and
that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward
making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you
need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one
can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber
baron of all time. FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know
that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is
to give away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living
under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you
think you deserve; and that sometimes bad things happen to
unsuspecting,
good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.
It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must
be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of
you, and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead
of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people
upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running
water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself; and you
to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to
never, ever, settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the
wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a
stand; you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life
you want to live as best as you can.