Posted by adel (209.156.155.88) on July 07, 2000 at 14:53:47:
In Reply to: Gravol dependancy posted by Rez on December 20, 1999 at 01:30:44:
Don't listen to them
How you will
Cloud my mind,
Devour my ambition.
Don't read labels
Make up directions
Make up rules.
Take often, take as needed.
Take often.
In my room
Ugliness, loneliness
And you settle over me
Like a soft blanket
A cobweb, a mother's touch.
Numb.
the first time i took gravol to get high i wasnt impressed. weeks later i tried it again; and loved it. i HAVE to have a few before i leave my house or talk on the phone, and i hallucinate even when im not taking it. i want it so bad, and then i want something else, something better, but by the time this thought has entered my mind; i am completely devoured by a false sence of happiness; and reality is altered so much; i actually dont care, about anything. im not depressed; i just..gave up trying to fit in, and on gravol, you just dont care anymore. the things that used to bother me no longer do. i dont want to eat, or sleep. i fight the gravol to experience my other sences; the world is suddenly amazing, and..mine. or i drink alcohol and let them fight it off. i feel speedy and jittery and unsure that my legs will hold me up. its almost like overdosing on benedryl (antihistamine). i have no asthma problems, no more allergies and i dont need benedryl. my lungs have fully expanded for the first time in my life, i feel the air in my chest, its amazing, these deep breathes. however, i woke up the other day in terror, i had actually stopped breathing in my sleep. i gasped for air , but nothing came, i tried coughing and wheezing, i dont know how many minutes i was like this, i was asleep. i was frightened, but..the next day i had more gravol, and a beer for the chaser. the high is worth it, i say when im floating and witnessing the changes gravol makes in my mind/brain. but now im not so sure..and i cant seem to say no, i just cant seem to carry on a normal life without it.