Posted by cheryl (205.188.197.34) on June 15, 2000 at 21:06:02:
I appreciate all of your responses to my post. I believe my biggest problem with the alcohol use right at the moment is he just takes it for granted that it doesn't matter. He may not get an instant headache but you can almost bet that it's coming. And, while he drinks he still thinks that there's nothing that the doctor can do. I get angry because I do not feel at times that he give 100%. He doesn't like the pain but I believe in his hard and rough life that this is an excuse to give in.
His mother died when he was 4 and his dad pretty much gave him and his siblings up to marry a new wife. So he was also abandoned you could say. Now his dad is dead also. So he grew up all screwed up and go into drugs. I am not saying this judgementally because I have had several years of not so proper actions. I was really in to cocaine for a few years. I've been there.
I really do believe he uses these sometimes as an excuse to give in. I can't go back either because of my 2 1/2 year old son. So I quit drinking because I don't want him to drink it leads him to his drugs..... and in a way I watch and do feel that the headaches are better when that is not in use.
Kinda like the demerol.... just hides the pain for a while but it always seems to find him. He finally went in there and went to bed. (Thank God)! I hope he has a painfree night.
My last day at work is tomorrow and Monday I start a new job. Making 45,000 yippee!!! That is why I can't go down that road for myself. But, that is MY choice.
Thank you all for listening to me. It has been a hard day. Needed someone to talk to that really understands.
Love to you all and be pain free!!!
Cheryl