Posted by Nancy (216.236.5.69) on May 24, 2000 at 12:45:20:
before the board goes down after that last post to Carl!
The True Story of Eve
A small, but growing, segment of society no
longer believes that woman was
created from one of Adam's ribs. They believe
that Eve was created first.
They feel their account of life's beginning on
earth is more plausible.
HERE IT IS......
And God created Woman, giving her three breasts
to nurse her young.
And God spoke, saying to her, "Woman I have
created thee as I see fit, but
mine is no longer the only opinion in the
universe (sigh). Is there anything
about thee that thou would prefer differently?"
And Woman spoke, saying, "Lord, I am not made to
birth whole litters, and you have given me two glorious hands, arms, feet,
legs...etc.. I do not need but two breasts."
And God said, "Thou speak wisely, as I have
created thee with wisdom."
There was a bolt of lightning, and it was done,
and Woman stood there holding her third breast in her hand.
"What am I gonna do with this useless boob?"
Woman asked.
And so it was, that God created man.
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A couple in their nineties are having problems remembering things, so they decide to the go the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember things.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks,
"Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen," he replies. She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
He says, "No, I can remember that."
She then says "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down 'cause I know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that - you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She adds, I'd also like whipped cream. Now I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down."
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down - I can remember that!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream!"
He then grumbles to the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?
////////////////////////////
A nephew sends his uncle a Christmas gift of a very colorful/green/yellow head bird from South America for Chritmas that he paid a lot of money for.
The uncle and his wife has it for Chritmas dinner with all the trimmings.
After Christmas the nephew calls and ask the uncle how did he liked the bird.
The uncle says, " it was delicious we had it for Christmas dinner!"
"What, the nephew said, I paid good money for that bird and he could talk in 3 languages!!"
The uncle said, "well...he should have said something!"
All people smile in the same language,
Nancy