Posted by Kenn (205.188.199.46) on May 08, 2000 at 16:16:41:
In Reply to: Suicide and Pain and OUCH! posted by Deveny on May 08, 2000 at 08:44:40:
Deveny,
I sort of specialize in stories like that one. Thanks for writing it -- letting us in on your pespective of your mother and what her suffering has meant to you. It is a very high thing for you to let us in on it.
It is interesting that, of the approximately sixty stories I have gathered addressing the suicide issue, only one of them involves a mother with children to care for, and that one is almost too tragic to share.
But, I have over a hundred of the kinds of stories you told about Elaine, mostly from people on this board. I save them to disk. Sometimes I write poetry, lyrics and short stories, often based upon what I get here.
I use them as an inspiration to others and for myself.
We all know that your mother is slightly unusual...OK, She is incredible! Without even trying, she can convey a tremendous amount of love and compassion right from her computer keyboard. It doesn't take a special education to understand what it takes to be able to impart to others this level of -- let's call it a "ministry" (sorry to use that word, maybe...But that's exactly what it is.)
To do what your mother does requires direct knowledge of the REASONS for sharing compassion...personal experience with highly unusual and intense levels of suffering.
I'm sure that for a mother raising a family the suffering includes myriad other little concerns, worries and the mental juggling of duties and schedules that can only be understood through direct experience. It either takes a special person to pull it off or one becomes a special person because they had to do it.
My mother was much the same. Many times, we would see her rushing to get dinner on the table or the dishes done or some other thing accomplished for her family as her face began contorting in pain, her body actions showing that she was starting an attack. I remember her finishing up her work and looking quickly around to see if we were all OK or whether there was anything else she needed to do before heading off to the bedroom to deal with her pain in private.
Like Elaine, my mother also contracted cancer -- Only about a year ago -- breast cancer. And this, just a year after Dad died and after several years of seeing many of her loved ones, including my wife, go through miserable times dealing with the same thing. It takes a toll, but the payoff is a new perspective and appreciation for life and for others who endure similar circumstances.
It may sound mushy and a little trite to some, especially coming from an irreverent old fart like me, but I have been able to use my own pain to gain a great measure of understanding of life and purpose because of the Elaines and other mothers who have followed the secret urgings and the private councelling of their Mother's Heart. This "Mother's Heart" is the drive to fulfill the expressions of love and nurturing that just cannot be fully understood by anyone else but a mother; A mother sacrifices her own comfort -- her own self -- for her children.
This kind of thing goes on every day all over the world. And when I watch the news or read about it and see the heartbreaking suffering of children everywhere, I know there is a mother whose heart is torn beyond comprehension.
So, whether or not we see a reason for it or can understand the spiritual implications, I know deep inside of me that something very important is going on in unseen realms when one of us shares with another the pain and heartbreak of life, who tries to take the suffering away, to lift up the one whose life is torn and to give comfort.
That's what a mother does.
Your mother does it all of the time; She has an entire family of "children" on this board who look to her for the type of comfort only a mother can give. The gods will reward her for this.
I've yet to meet her -- But I dearly love her for her Mother's Heart.