Posted by Tracy (195.147.228.228) on April 19, 2000 at 10:48:45:
In Reply to: A Freakin Mess posted by Carl D on April 19, 2000 at 07:37:26:
I haven't got ANY meds except paracetamol and Co-Dydramol (the Dydramol I'm too scared to use 1) coz they don't really work anymore, 2) coz I've heard they're addictive). therefore I am dealing with the pain cold turkey, almost.
Look, you're a great guy - but I think the well of self pity is starting to drown you.
I've been there, LORD have I been there. It's a nice comfy place - where everything in the world is to blame for the way your life has turned out and no one can help you and everything SUCKS! Sounds familiar?
I loathe my life sometimes, my Mum is giving me static right now about me maybe going into hospital for these attacks (as if I can choose), also our car has broken down so, unless Trev can fix it for free before Good Friday, we probably won't be spending Easter with them and my in-laws. She acts like I did this on purpose. The fact that I'm stressed, in pain so bad I can hardly speak or think, and trying to do a dozen different jobs at once is neither here nor there. HER problems shoudl far outweigh mine.
HOWEVER, tomorrow maybe a better day. Whatever happens I can come here and chat to others about CH or nothing in particular. Today's pains worse than yesterday's, so what can I do? LIVE with it. I'm going to be 35 this birthday, I am NOT letting this damned ailment steal my life from me. I've already had it for 4 years (okay, not as long as most - but long enough!), and I dont know if I'm going to have it for another 4 or 44 years yet! Life is too short to waste it - I odn't know whether you believe in Heaven or an afterlife(I'm a God believer myself), but whichever way you look at it, THIS life is it!
I'm not going to spend the rest of my life in the well of self pity, it's boring, lonely and a bit mushy in there.
Whatever happens have a good birthday!! Eat a cake, go for a walk, DO something different. Even it's getting your groceries at a different store. Sad as it is,that's what I did last year, went for a walk and had a drink in a supermarket cafe with Bethany. But it was different! Sad, but different!!! (LOL) For my 30th I did NOT have a party, it was no biggy to me. Just another birthday. However, my 40th maybe a different matter, whether I have CPH or not!!
LIVE life CarlD, you should - you have so much to offer, if you could but see it!
Peace!
Take care, God bless,
Tracy