Posted by Dave (205.188.193.26) on February 13, 2000 at 02:44:50:
Word Perfect Help
This is one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Helpdesk employee was fired. However, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee: (now we know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of the sudden,
the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm...so what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing"
"Nothing?"
"It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a C prompt?"
"Nevermind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great, follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of the computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh, well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No, why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power...a power failure?...Aha, okay, we've got this licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're to fu$king stupid to own a computer!"
Okay, so it's another long night : )
Dave