Posted by Gary on October 23, 1998 at 01:57:40:
In Reply to: I NNNNNEEEEEEEDDDDDD A Break posted by Jonathan Poulter on October 22, 1998 at 09:17:14:
Hang in there Jonathan - - wouldn't it be a bitch if you surrendered today and tomorrow was the day you had some relief coming ! Sometimes it's definitely a second at a time - makes things pretty bleak. I had a spell of nearly 1 1/2 years continuing attacks, averaging 3-4 a day, when I was about 28-30; believed it was the end of the world. Now I'm 48, and still have the SOBs - but the "running average" has improved: longer intermissions, shorter bouts, seemingly milder attacks. Don't know how much is natural improvement and how much is learning a gillion little tricks, mental and physical, over the years. And, to be honest, some of the most horrifying attacks in my life have been scattered through these better years - but isolated. As to your partner's departure, etc - well, that's hard to handle but not insurmountable - most of us have watched our lives change around, and because of, this demonic syndrome - maybe the trick is to go with the flow as much as possible. Please though, whatever - hang in there - it's corny, but often true: it's always darkest just before the dawn. (And I know - sometimes I stay up all night, just to avoid waking up with an an attack after it's too late to use any measures to block it - sounds nutty, but it seems to reduce the 3 AM horrors)