Posted by BillB (158.169.9.30) on December 09, 1999 at 08:44:13:
An old golfer died and stated in his will that he wanted his ashes to be kept in the bar at his golf club. His ashes were duly placed inside a trophy he had won and placed on a shelf in the bar. As time passed, however, some of the other members forgot the significance of the cup and began to use it as an ashtray. One day the Club secretary glanced into the cup and stopped dead. 'Good God!' he exclaimed. 'Old Charlie's been dead for 8 years and I swear he's putting on weight.'
And another one:
A very elderly couple consulted a doctor, complaining that they had a sex problem. 'What kind of sex problem?' asked the doctor. It's too difficult to explain, but we can show you, they told him. The doc agreed so the old couple climbed onto the couch and made love. 'I can't see any problem there,' said the doc. 'The best thing is to go home and forget about it.' A couple of weeks later they were back and again the same thing happened and again the doc reassured them they didn't have a sex problem. Another few weeks went by and they were back again. The doctor was getting exasperated and said to them, 'Look, you don't have any kind of sex problem. So what are you really up to?' The old man looked at the old lady and shrugged. 'All right,' he said. 'I'll tell you. We're not married but we can't afford to go to a hotel. So we come here, make love, pay you $20 and get 95 per cent back on our health insurance.'