Posted by John Bown (216.85.128.114) on October 29, 1999 at 20:42:50:
In Reply to: Chronic Clusters, Chronic Insomnia, Chronic Depression... posted by Carl D on October 29, 1999 at 09:06:46:
Hi, Carl,
Remember Me? We have exchanged posts and e-mail quite a bit. I am sorry if my post about testosterone caused you or others on the board any pain. I didn't say that women don't get clusters. I know they do. I am sorry that they do. I am sorry that any of us do. I wish we could find a cure. I am throwing ideas out there even if they are Steve Martin Wild and Crazy because something someone says here may get someone thinking one day about some new avenue that hasn't been looked at before. I understand CH depression. I'm chronic too. I own a .38 and I keep it locked up in a safe because I can't work the combination when I have a 10. I go to work looking like shit because I haven't slept more than an hour or two the night before. AND I read ALL your posts.
Maybe the way I wrote the post was fucked up. I just started taking topamax and I feel pretty different, but I am not one to blame my behavior on the drug I am taking today. I have taken too many, so I would always have an excuse for acting lame. Lately, I have been trying to take NO DRUGS at all, (except oxygen, which isn't really a drug, and Stadol, when I am on my knees and begging someone to open the safe). After being off of all other drugs for a while, I started Topamax about a week ago.
Anyway, I will say that I am sincerely sorry if the post caused any clusterheads to experience any emotional pain at all. I would regret that. I just want us to find a cure, and in my own stupid, arrogant, self-centered, idiotic, nit-wit way, was trying to kick off a new vein of discussion. I refuse to shy away from a particular area of discussion simply because it is not politically correct and may offend someone who thinks diseases should be distributed on an equal opportunity basis as a matter of God-given right. That is my point. There actually seem to be people who are insulted by the statistics showing that more males have CH than females, and insist that this is because of some conspiracy or prejuduce based on ignorance in the medical community alone. There may indeed be some basis for this, but let's not throw the baby out with the bath water. I fear that, in the name of political correctness, we will fail to discuss clues that could lead to a cure. Let's get beyond the point where people are afraid to post because they fear being put down for being sexist, of being tekky, or of being in need of sharing their deep, desperate feelings of depression. Let's feel free to talk about cluster headaches, whatever it takes.