Posted by Riccardo Pentenero (194.116.8.5) on October 11, 1999 at 02:13:05:
Now i finally understand what Nancy means when call her posts SAT HUMOUR (now she posted on Sunday) SATANIC HUMOUR! (the "condom joke"! applies well also on Italian government!).....and then something from me
Size DOES Matter!
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally missed the second
door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
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THE EXECUTION
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready!...Aim!!
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! ...Aim!!..."
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! ... Aim!! ..."
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
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A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, "My bike."