Living in Fear

Posted by Amanda Best (151.202.33.183) on October 08, 1999 at 18:16:16:

Hi there. I havent really been posting lately,,,my last post I believe was to let you all know that my cycle had ended. I really thought that I would be so happy when it finally ended but instead I find that I am just frightened of what possibly waits around the corner. It had been 5 years between my last 2 cycles but I have nightmares that Ill get them for 6 months of every year. I know that I could never live like that.I hate being in this state of constant fear.
I had some mild shadows yesterday and spent hours crying on the phone to my mother. I almost feel like moving home because I KNOW THAT I COULD NEVER SURVIVE
WHAT I WENT THROUGH ALONE AGAIN!
Oh well, I will do my best to get on with my life. I just wish that I could stop crying.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Amanda

Follow Ups:

• When you are worried..and you can't sleep Dennis O'C 01:32:40 10/09/99 (1)
  • I saw that SNL episode too! Thanks for the smile! no text Amanda Best 03:21:00 10/09/99 (0)
• I understand, my dear friend Todd 21:14:58 10/08/99 (0)
• What am I going to do with you lady ? Elaine 20:27:32 10/08/99 (2)
  • RE:::Lady Elaine. Maverick 16:31:51 11/07/00 (0)
  • RE:::Lady Elaine. Maverick 16:29:31 11/07/00 (0)
• Dont Worry Fran 19:50:23 10/08/99 (1)
  • We will do it for you Nancy 22:15:59 10/08/99 (0)
• In between cycles Bobbie P in BC 18:35:15 10/08/99 (0)
• But, Amanda... Margi 18:26:44 10/08/99 (0)

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