Posted by Kathryn (208.28.68.20) on October 06, 1999 at 19:35:27:
Be forewarned: a little bitchin, a little moanin', possibly even a little whinin', definitely a little cussin' below: (and it's long, to boot!)
Every episodic who's ever been here knows the feeling: WHEN are they going to hit? I swear to Whatever Nameless Entity we're swearing to today that the anticipation is almost as bad as the fucking pain.
Three years ago I finally got a correct diagnosis (after having the big mothereffin' scope stuck WAY up my nose to look for sinus polyps) of CH. Finally got meds, a good doctor, all the good stuff.
So it's October, I've been "shadowing" since early september, and I finally gave in and started the Verapamil two weeks ago. As a result, I've got all the lovely side effects of Verap ("WHERE'S the fuckin' Metamucil...?"), my workouts suck, I could sleep about 14 hours a day, tired tired tired...and no pain.
I know they're here--they squeeze my brain about 10 times a day to let me KNOW they're here. Kind of a "ring the doorbell" thing, I guess. Little sinus drainage on the left side, maybe a Kip-5 or so...but no headaches.
Now, don't get me wrong--I don't want the pain! God, I don't want the pain. But I know without a shadow (sorry, pun) of a doubt that it IS coming. I know I'll start waking up in the middle of the night with that bastard sticking the ice pick in my head, we'll do the Imitrix dance, the occasional Vicodin; it's happened every year for 13 years, anyway. But WHEN??? Guess I just need to know that the Verapamil non-crapola (sorry, had to do it!) is really worth it.
Sorry this is long and really whiny, but I just had to vent to people who would understand before I start crying at my computer. My husband (sweet guy, not named Scott) just keeps saying they're not coming this year; I hate to burst his bubble. Wishing I could crawl in it with him, in fact.
Thanks for listening, and email hugs are always appreciated.
=(
-Kathryn