Posted by Nancy (198.247.7.221) on September 08, 1999 at 00:36:13:
T.G.I.F.
A business man got on an elevator in a building.
When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde
already inside and she greeted him by saying "T-G-I-F"
He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T"
She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering "S-H-I-T".
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with
a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T".
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, T-hank G-oodness I-ts F-riday; get it?"
The man answered, "S-orry H-oney, I-t's T-hursday".
*************************************
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this FBI?"
"Yes, What can we do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Thibodaux! He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."
"Don't worry, sir. We'll take care of this right away.."
Next day, the FBI comes over to Thibodaux's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, and leave.
The phone rings at Thibodaux's house.
"Hey, Thibodaux! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Mais, yeah they did."
"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
**************************************
A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a checkup. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?" The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."
The doctor said, "At 106 years why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Did I say he wanted to?"
Hugs and a smile,
Nancy