Posted by dan (152.163.204.56) on August 31, 1999 at 14:56:05:
This site is a godsend.
When my last attack ended eight years ago, I thought, maybe, it's all over. I remembered that they said "onset - mid-thirties, ending mid-fifties". Well, I was only 44, but maybe I was ahead of schedule.
Then a week ago, they started again. Just as bad, just as scary. Mine come once a day, last 45-60 minutes. As the clock passes 45 minutes, I start the fear that this is one that will never stop. I sweat, I beg, I pray, I plead, I cry. Then its over and I hope that I won't get enother one, but I know that I will.
The one difference this time is that I haven't been getting the usual warning. I used to see "sparklies" in my peripheral vision about 5 minutes before onset. Now, no "sparklies" - just pain. The other difference is that the meds don't seem to be working as well. I have been on Lithium and Verapamil, and it has always blocked the attacks before. Now, it seems to be cutting them in half. But, that's not enough. Once every two days is almost as bad as once every day.
I tried to explain to my girl friend what is happening, but I can see in her eyes that she doesn't understand. See, she already knows about migraines. Her migraines used to send her to bed for as much as eight hours. My headaches are over in 45 minutes. How bad can that be?
So, I searched the web, and came across this site. With the explanations of what it is really like, from both a medical and a layman's perspective. And the message board to share with people who truly do understand. I have always known that there were many others that shared this terror, but I have always been so damned alone.
Thank you all for being here.