Posted by Carl D (208.4.16.187) on August 31, 1999 at 12:34:50:
Hey all,
Yesterday was great. Felt like the lizard king: I could do anything. Went to see Star Wars with a friend and had a blast!!! we were the only ones in the theatre, so we heckled the movie with jokes like Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Is there A price to pay for fun?
Went to bed at 12:45am last night, after taking my slumber spray and last dose of Methylcobalamin and Verapamil. Went to sleep pretty quick (unusual for me, usually toss and turn). 3:30am the Demon returned with a vengeance!!! I shot up in bed freaking out, grabbing my head, balling my eyes out. I begged for mercy, but the demon just laughed. Lasted until 5:00. Afterwards, in a cold sweat, calmed down, tried to relax, and pass back out. 8:ish - the demon let me know he wasn't finished with me yet - ROUND TWO: a hardcore 12 all the way - complete with bloody knuckles and loss of bodily function (embarrassing, but...) about a half hour later, just sat crying like a baby. Shadowing heavy right now. Does this mean my ice cream has melted? Is the party over? Or is the demon just pissed because I'm on to something?
Still trying to be positive. I WILL NOT sit wringing my hands the rest of the day waiting for the next attack. There is a choice to make after every CH episode: how long to let it affect me - I can be depressed from 5 minutes to 5 days, depending on how I accept it, as I'm sure some can testify to. Anyone else get severely depressed after a CH?
I'm just happy I had a few light days, and now I'm hoping for a few lighter ones. Actually I'm hoping for complete and total remission. Can't last forever can it?
Oh yeah, for those who are interested, I am working on "SNAP", a book about a man who has everything going for him until CH's take over his life. Progress is slow, as I am also working simultaneously on the screenplay (ever wanted to see a movie about a clusterhead?) I told Claudette my goal is to have the book completed, packaged, and ready for the world before the CH Convention. I have been writing for a long time, but this is a subject I guess you could say that has become more of a mission for me. I also talked to a friend Friday about the screenplay and a movie concept. Upon completion, I will submit it to the producers that be, and see what is to be. Who knows - maybe this time 2001 you'll be able to go to a theatre and watch someone on the big screen live your life dillemma. Depending on the outcome, Cluster ignorance could become a thing of the past. Ok - A guy can dream - can't he? I guess he needs sleep first huh?
I Did it all for the Wookie, Carl D