Posted by A Dame (205.188.196.38) on August 22, 1999 at 22:54:03:
Been reading some very disturbing posts while I was away...Wow! Very intense....But right along with the sermon today at church...For those that do not like my post, just stop here, but I really wish you would read on....
To Bernie, please post again, I enjoy your posts.
I too have a strong belief in God and also thank Him for sending His son to die for my sins, not anyone else's sins, mine. I thank Him for all He has given me, including the CH...disease, because there is always someone less fortinate than I am, or one that is suffering more than me. There are lots just here in our family of Clusterheads...For whatever reason He allowed me to have this disease - I will know one day, until that day comes I will have to try to help (no matter how small of contribution) find a cure or be of comfort to someone else that suffers from CH. I hope I am a comfort to some of you in some small way, I know you surely have been wonderful for me.
How odd that today's sermon at church was II Corinthians 5:10 - "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad".
To para-phrase - For all believers, one day we will all (those that have accepted Jesus) face the correcting judgment from God. The good and the bad will be judged by God. It is impending that one day I will stand before Christ as an individual and He will review my life and my works...He will judge me honestly, it will all depend on what I have done IN my live and what I have done with MY life. Not anyone else, just me....No one can speak for me, no one can speak against me....I will stand alone...It will be an inclusive judgment, how we speak, how we use it to curse or to bless, EVERY WORD WE EVER SPOKE WILL BE BROUGHT BEFORE THE LORD...
I am sure you are wondering why I am even posting this thing and what it has to do with CH or the Message Board.....
Just think about this for one minute....I believe (you may not believe as I do, that's o.k., I may not believe the way you believe either), but EVERY WORD WE EVER SPOKE IN OUR ENTIRE LIVES WILL BE BROUGHT BEFORE THE LORD.......just think of the words that have been spoken just on this message board.....Have they been helpful and soothing, or have they been harse and hurtful? Are we trying to help each other here? Are we trying to uplift someone that is hurting here? Are we trying to find the answer to a medical question for someone in trouble here? Just think about what we say, and remember that one day we are going to have to remember each hateful, hurting word uttered, or on the other hand for every kindness or good deed or kind word spoken will be rewarded....
Today's sermon has really made me stop and think about what I am saying to my family, friends, total strangers, etc. and to me ESPECIALLY to my "Clusterhead Family" that I only know through this wonderful website (thank you again DJ). I never knew you guys 4 weeks ago, but I sure feel like I know you now. For many of you, I will never have the opportunity to meet, for some we correspond by E-mail, ICQ or long distance (or all three), for some, I have already met, actually touched & hugged another Clusterhead, some I have had as a guest in my home....I have been a guest in another's home. And, while I am here, that lady in that home was suffering in more ways than one and she still had the time and energy to be concerned about me...She was actually going to come see me, because I had been posting (1st time I might add) with the worst series I had ever experienced (12 days). But, she put her hurts, fears, disappointments, terror aside to open her home up for us to come and meet each other. It was wonderful...For those of you that have the opportunity to actually meet each other - just do it, you will never forget it, it's great. This website gave me hope and I received the understanding that I had NEVER EVER received before....Someone actually hurt like I did...The same way....I wasn't the only one....I wasn't some freak (Carl D)...there were others just like me. I had just about (no had) given up ever finding a physician that understood or knew anything other than just scratching the surface about "Cluster".
I'm done, I will not apologize for my belief in God, or my posts, nor should you...I do believe it is here for all of us to vent in whatever way helps us...That is part of the healing process.
One thing I try to remember when reading posts, that not all posts pretain to me....Take with you the information that will help you, make it through the night during a 10+ on the Kip Scale, or information you want to take to your Neuro, the things you do not agree with, leave it here.....Don't sweat the small stuff...This is small stuff...precious time wasted on nasty hurting words. Our headaches are big stuff to each and every one of us, whether we be a sufferer or a supporter...I would hate to say something nasty to someone here and that be the last words spoken or said to that person,,,,,,remember guys the description of what we suffer from "The Suicide Headaches". It's no joke, it's very real to some....We have all thought it before just to get out of the pain, very, very few of us really attempt it...Hope no one ever takes that way out again...we have each other to lean on and cry out to...Let's us be receptive, please...
Helping, caring, sharing, loving, laughing, crying, praying, whatever it takes to get us through this terrible experience is my goal for this website. I want to be able to come here when I am so down and depressed, hurting, exhausted, because I know there will be someone here 24 7....24-hours a day 7-days per week....I will try to be here for some of you when you are in that mode also...That is my wish to be able to type the right words to soothe or help in some small way....
I got the warmest feeling from reading my e-mail when I got home or the answers to my posts...Thank you and I will continue to ask for prayer in my Sunday School Class for this website as I hope you are doing the same at your church, etc. I will continue to pray for you, even if you don't ask me to.....I am not a saint, and don't think that is my purpose here.....I just keep praying for peaceful days and painless nights..
A Dame