Posted by lc bob (159.199.101.1) on July 20, 1999 at 21:48:50:
hi all.
i just returned from a vacation to western pennsylvania (johnstown, land o' floods). my mumble-mumble-th high school class reunion. interesting and educational trip.
i experienced what many of you go thru every day, and i was but a spectator. i live alone. my HAs were very private. my parents, bless their hearts, knew i was getting headaches - but had no concept of the effect beyond a head ache. now they know. sort of. but i'm getting ahead of myself.
first, i want to tell you i left on 7/9 scared shitless. i monitored the high heat and oppressive humidity there during the prior week and knew the elevation was above 1500 feet. all 3 are reputed triggers, and vary from what i'm used to in the SFBay area. plus the fear of flying (not being in the air ... but being there when i became frankenstein - sound familiar?). i was heartened when Skilly (i think?) emailed me about a recent trip where the HAs were not a problem (but returned after the trip). it wasn't that i didn't want the pain (of course i didn't - none of us do), i just didn't want my folks to see it and then worry because i'm 3000 miles away from them. i'm sure i'm preaching to the choir ... but it was new to me to want to hide the pain.
well, i can say that the bastard was almost good to me. only had a smallie (maybe a 4) on the plane going in. then the first 3 days were almost ZEROS!! maybe the time change threw him off? those were the first days in forever that i went without even shadows!! it was sooooo kuhl!! but of course, it was not to last. tues and weds the shadows started again, and i was able to get to the garage to dance during the night (dad only caught me once and i was coming down). then the bummer. dad and i took mom out for her birthday thursday and i got a 7 right between salad and main course. i tried to ride it out ... didn't want top make a scene, you know. i know you know. mom's face was more painful to me than the HA. thankfully, it only lasted about 20 minutes ... but it peaked up there where the eye flood and the nose cork are. dad was pretty cool, (i'd prepared them to "just leave me be" if it happened) ... but he did say how hard it was to watch and be unable to do anything. i felt soooo bad for them. all i could think of was Margi and Buddy and Laurie and the rest of you supporters who go thru this daily. and now i know more intimately how Mike and Elaine and Drummer feel when you look into their eyes and the emotional pain competes with the physical pain for your attention. like roseann rosannadanna said ... "it's always somethin'", huh? one question ... do you think i should've left and "walked it off" and had them wonder what the hell was up instead of staying and letting them see the hell in person? i'm not sure i did the right thing. it was risky ... i told myself if it went past 7 i would hit the pike ... but thank god it didn't and i ate my steak still warm. heheh.
got thru the 2 nights of reunion friday and saturday with minimal HAs. manageable ... hadda leave for "a walk" once or twice ... but still had a good time. all tolled, i'd say it was a good ... no, a great trip. i even think all the activity that brought me out of my Silas Marner existence was a good thing. to the point where i'm thinking one of the worst things we can do is give in and sequester ourselves. it's like it we just flip the prick off and go out anyway and sort of challenge him to deal us a HA ... we'll do better. maybe you'll get one, maybe you won't ... but i think if we're arrogant with him the level and length of the HA is lower and shorter. something gave me a good week. it was either that, or mom's new pillows. go figure. but i'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. it was a great week. minor bumps in the road. the trip home was a breeze. no HA at all. guess it was good livin'. naaaaa ... THAT can't be it!!
so that's it. i'm back. i'm relieved that it went so well. i'm proud of my parents for hanging in there. i'm blessed that this site is here for me to ramble and get this said. i'm grateful that you guys are out there for me to dump on. i'm closer to families that deal with both sides of the plague. and i'm praying for an answer so none of us will have to worry anymore.
anyway ... thanks for the collective ear ...
i am many - lcb