Posted by Jim Crandall (204.95.48.203) on July 08, 1999 at 15:00:33:
My head hurts all the time. I have enough energy to do about half of what I need to each day. I have pared my life down quite a bit so I can accomplish the necessary things. I am so tired of hurting.
My wife told me last week that she wants to leave me. She's not very good at dealing with sick people. She says I'm boring. I'm sure there is more involved in the deterioration of our relationship than my constant pain. Our interests have changed over the 17 years we have been together.
I am most saddened by her admission that she thinks becoming a parent was a mistake. We lived through near death experiences dealing with infertility and ultimately adopted. I am passionate about being a parent--I think it defines me and I like the definition. So I guess I will become a single parent.
I haven't really absorbed this yet. My daughter (whose name is Hope; and hope there always will be) doesn't know yet so when she finds me in tears, she thinks my head really hurts. My head does hurt; and now my heart is breaking, too.
I have only told my priest and now my cluster family. Thank you for being here.
I have noticed over time that quite a few broken marriages have been mentioned here either in passing or as crisis events--I never thought I would add myself to that list.
I am very close to the end of my rope; but don't worry I always find more rope--you guys provide some that's for sure.
peace to all,
Jim
p.s. My wife said she wouldn't leave me until my headaches got better. Now there's an interesting choice!