Posted by Carl D (208.4.16.209) on June 30, 1999 at 08:44:05:
In Reply to: Danny`s Post... Man you all riped him up posted by Linda B on June 28, 1999 at 19:32:21:
Linda, I am sorry you feel the way you do. Really. Maybe what I said in response to him was pretty hardcore. Consider some of his comments when he was not being attacked. And I for one do not care if he was attacking out of defense. He said some pretty hardcore things directly aimed at people. Telling Barbara D and I quote "If y'all like the pain so much... then by all means suffer". I'm sorry. That is a DIRECT attack against someone who is suffering enough without having someone badger them. Trust me, I have had it with all of the hateposts and hatemail. You should read some of the e-mails I have gotten: "Crawl in a hole and die you sorry sonofabitch". "Oh well, if you feel that bad,go blow your brains out" and I wont even bother mentioning some of the more hardcore stuff I have received. Yeah, I have been personally attacked on this board too. So you must understand, I'm already half-mental as it is, and all of this combined with chronic pain and massive depression, I had to let it out. Danny H just happened to receive the blast.And if this Danny H is who I think it is (unsure still) he used to be my best friend, but I now affectionately call him JUDAS and we have not spoken outside of almost fighting a year ago since 10/96 after he trashed me to everyone I know. If it is him, trust me - I was lienient. I am sorry to distress you Linda. I am not out to hurt anybody - but I am dead-tired of getting walked on and I refuse to play doormat for the rest of my life. Already ate my share of crap,if you know what I mean. The night before last I slept 6 hours and my body went into shock-craving more. went 17 hours without a cluster and then BAM!!! I laid down last night around 1:30 and didnt sleep at all. I had 3 extremely hardcore 12's (just got done with a major one in which I once again passed out) and I feel like crap. I have been heavily depressed for days now and my two closest friends are even noticing the difference. I usually have a hard time shutting my mouth (growing up I was always told to shut up, now I cant say enough), but lately, I have nothing to say short of "Um, this sucks". My vocabulary is shortened to two intelligable words :this SUCKS. If anyone else attacks me or my family on this board, I will attempt to be silent as a lamb is before his shearers, but know this: I am tired of ignorance, I am tired of pointless attacks and most of all, I AM TIRED OF GOING THRU SHEER F@#KING TORTURE THAT I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT OR FIND ANY PEACE OR RELIEF FROM. Most people have an abortive or something to deal with pain. I HAVE NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just have to ride 'em out and I am tired of it - mentally,physically and emotionally. It is destroying my life and I cant do a damn thing to stop it or escape it. I am deeply sorry if I offended you or anyone else (except ignorant Idiots who attack the suffering). Having spoken my peace, I am going to go crawl into a hole and die. Peace out, Carl Daniels
"didn't ask to be this way
carried in a walking grave
dragging this miserable corpse
as I joined the forgotten slaves
fighting the unseen
with all of my being
hoping to awaken
from the poisoned dream" -- "Casual Victim" CFD 1999