Posted by David Chalfant (208.30.14.73) on June 28, 1999 at 23:56:35:
I know how Danni feels. Having had the same experience when I first posted, I really got slammed by some members and I slammed back. It is
easy to become "infected" and the "Name Calling"
starts. I have been in Danni's shoes. I have learned a bit of tolerance as a result. I DO NOT think it is necessary to blast the one who post nieve messages. I am still new to this site and people are always going to find cures, post questionable messages and some many of them seem absurd. But I think we can respond to these postings by: 1- tell what the site's purpose serves-inform them that it is for CH sufferers and their families and supportive friends. (theese nasty responces damage the true spirit of the site.). 2 Realizing that their are other sufferers of pain-some with headaches of all types. Pain sufferers are desperate. We must realize that their pain and suffering is just as REAL as ours although not with the intensity of Cluster Headaches. We experience the worst pain imaginable. I think we could do away with the "Oh yea! well my pain is worse than yours you #&*# ". Sure,I feel bitter and angry ocassionally-like during CH attack. But we could do away with ATTITUDE
3-There seems to be this self rightousness attitude (me included) that those who suffer like we do don't deserve respect. I assume many find the site because they hurt;they are desperate and may be people with unrelated pain find us and just do not know any better. Some try to find info on dealing with chronic pain. After all, chronic pain includes more than just CH's; so it could be an honest mistake. Guess what impression that would leave on the unexpected visitor who stumbles upon th CH site! This person with the bad impression would probably not reccomend our site if this person came upon a CHer.
4-Addicts WILL try to coax pain sufferers including our members. Some assumed that the vicodin post was an attempt to scam pain killers off of the net ; but it could have been sincere. Think of that. well I am sure some pissed her off, But if it is obvious, would not it be more helpful to gracely ask if she is an addict? If they actually DO come back(which they probably won't), refer him/ her to NA or other avenue of help. Just an idea. The posts do add a little exitement in my life. I must admit,I do find it humorus, but I hold no judgement against ANY member of this group. I have charter flaws and realizing this helps me be a tiny bit more accepting others and those that anger me.
dchal@negia.net David Chalfant
ps. this is my pissed off
at dave adress.All others
are welcome to email me
luv dave
.