Posted by Elaine (209.86.97.59) on June 23, 1999 at 08:05:02:
Dear Friend,
I came close to ending my life last night. I feel really bad about it all. It seems like the pain just will not stop if it does its just long enough for the demon to let me know what I am missing. He gives me a couple of days then comes back for five. I loved this weekend no pain got to met Jeff and I enjoyed my family. It was like old times. I got pissed off when the Demon said times up. Back to your pit. It hurts to type this now. I want to see Drummer and his family I can not make the trip if I don't get the pain down.
Last night Kip stayed up with me all night. If I got off line whith him he called me. I gave myself four injection last night of Imitrex before I posted. Kip, Drummer, Clair, Nancy, Vince, Hal even several new people I never met kept me going all night and they helped me understand the feeling I am having and that there is hope. I let myself down and all of you again I am sorry. Its nice to still be here this morning, but now that I know I came so close it scards me more in a way.
Thanks to all