Posted by Nancy on May 29, 1999 at 21:46:34:
A hip young man goes out and buys a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A 1997 Ferrari GTO. They cost about a half million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!", states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320
mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.
Whoooooosh!
It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it almost looked like the old man on the moped.
"Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?!"
Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM!
It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and it IS the old man!!! Of course, the moped and the old
man are hurtin' for certain.
He runs up to the old man and says, "You're badly hurt! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man moans and replies, "Yes..... Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"
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One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar, for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.
At closing time, he saw a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his.
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. The man was so drunk that everyone else left the bar and drove off before he had even put the keys in the ignition.
Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. Chuckling at the pathetic driver, the police officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how this could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Little hugs and a small smile,
Nancy