Posted by Dan Holton on May 16, 1999 at 19:52:09:
Jim Ambrose, Bob Kipple, Denny K, Bob G, Lee M, sam, Linda B, Barbara D.: Your encouraging words are like manna from heaven, and I can tell you that your experiences as described in these posts (I have lurked around a bit, reading posts)are very much like mine. Though I am sensitive enough to see that this group is genuine and helpful. My day today has been a bit fearful....and just being at home seems to help when CH attacks. Early on and six weeks ago I began having 5 - 6 bouts each day with what I will call my 'milosovic,' or as your guys have said, my deamon. It seemed as though the pain just burst through my eye socket, then the right forehead, then the top of my head, face, ear and neck. The attacks were sustained for nearly 2 hrs. each, then I just felt utterly blessed when they passed. As you know, I am a combat veteran, and have remained massively active since Vietnam...I always felt somewhat immune to pain, like a lot of men do. And I admit that I never dreamed that I would just plain 'cry' and 'moan' and 'pace' the way I have done recently.
I even thought at one point that someone was trying to poison me with something....this just could not be happening the way it is. When my milosovic passes...I usually fall blissfully to sleep in the arms of my wife. You will know that this is a very humbling experience for me, as I have been almost entirely self-sufficient for years...things have changed, I believe, in my psyche as a result of CH.
Nice to meet you, Jim Ambrose...of the Tonkin Gulf yacht club...I am of the 'grunt' club and point man with the 23rd Infantry.
Thanks again, to all....I have made it one more day..my best, and I am and remain
Dan