Posted by trip (152.163.201.196) on July 13, 2001 at 12:13:29:
What A Woman Wants
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by
Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year
to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.
The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would
perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and,
to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an
answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, wise men, and the
court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone, but no one could give him
a satisfactory answer.
What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she
would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was
famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The
last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk
to the witch.
She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price
first. The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was
horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth,
smelled like sewage water, often made obscene! noises...etc. He had
never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his
friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon
learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing
was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation
of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch
answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to
be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring
monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief
and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The
witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very
uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself
for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The
most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded
and asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd
been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self,
and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.á Which
would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night? What
a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the
day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the
privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by
day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many
intimate moments?
What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until
you've made your own choice.
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time,
because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own
life.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly,
underneath it all, she's still a witch--and don't you forget it.