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New CH.com Forum › Cluster Headache Help and Support › Cluster Headache Specific › Tried to end it all!!!!

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Tried to end it all!!!! (Read 1373 times)

Stickman38

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Tried to end it all!!!!
Apr 10^th, 2013 at 6:13pm

I have been here before and tried every suggestion I found on this site. Nothing worked. I have been through 6 neros and the last one found a problem with 2 of the disc in my neck, pressing against the spinal cord. I was having multiple clusters every day. The neurosurgeon recommended I have corrective surgery. About 10 days before the date, I had 2 clusters 30 minutes apart for a total of about 4 hours of pain(Don't think I have to describe the pain to anyone). I gave up mostly because the neurosurgeon said that only 50% of his patients had relief from headaches. I started drinking alcohol that morning to give myself the courage to leave this world and about 6 hours later I drank a 30ml bottle of morphine. Well needless to say, I was caught and put in the funny farm for a while. I did have the surgery after all of that and have not had a cluster since. It's been 2 months and I had one the day of surgery. I'm not sure if they are gone forever but I was having them every day before that.

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Balanchine

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Re: Tried to end it all!!!!
Reply #1 - Apr 10^th, 2013 at 10:43pm

Hey Stickman - glad you're still with us. We've all had our share of the kind of pain you've experienced of course, but it sounds as though you've been through enough for a dozen of the rest of us mere mortals.

You have a whole family here who will help you in any way possible.

I'm so glad you were saved from what must have seemed to be the only way out at the time. And just as happy to read that the surgery seems to have alleviated your pain.

Now that you're in an off cycle you might consider the vitamin D3+ regimen that has helped many people here stay pain free. There's an entire thread dedicated to it here:

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to

Meanwhile, keep posting. Let us know how you're doing.

David

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AussieBrian CH.com Hall of Famer Offline CH - It's all in your head! Posts: 3851 Cairns, Qld, Australia Gender:	Re: Tried to end it all!!!! Reply #2 - Apr 11^th, 2013 at 6:48am You're far from alone, Stickman. Many of us know just where you've been and it's not a nice place. Welcome to ch.com, which might not be a great improvement but certainly makes for better company. Just don't send beer to the moderators. PM me for the correct procedures. Good to have you aboard, Brian down under.
Back to top	My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com IP Logged

Callico CH.com Hall of Famer Offline Author of "Stranded at Romson's Lodge Posts: 4916 Aurora IL Gender:	Re: Tried to end it all!!!! Reply #3 - Apr 11^th, 2013 at 7:38am I'm glad you are still with us! I've lost to many friends to this mess, and I'd not like you to be one of them. Also glad you're PF right now. Hope it never ends. Jerry
Back to top	"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of dung by the clean end." Texas A&M Student (unknown) IP Logged

chrisw CH.com Old Timer Offline Posts: 315 x0\|turnersville\|NJ,USA Gender:	Re: Tried to end it all!!!! Reply #4 - Apr 11^th, 2013 at 7:49am Stickman, I think we all have at least thought about it at one time or another, but we are glad youre still around.!! Its great that youre pain free right now, and enjoy every moment of it!
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Stickman38

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Re: Tried to end it all!!!!
Reply #5 - Apr 11^th, 2013 at 11:26pm

Thanks everyone.
I wouldn't be here if I had not walked around the corner and saw my wife. I new I had made a mistake because I was going to leave her here in this world by herself.
The neck problems added to my headaches and life became unbearable.
The doctors I had been seeing seem to be only interested in making a buck but my Nero insisted I see a surgeon because I was in danger of becoming paralyzed.
Life is so much better now.

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Brew CH.com Sponsor CH.com Alumnus Offline Posts: 14163	Re: Tried to end it all!!!! Reply #6 - Apr 12^th, 2013 at 10:47am Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to or
Back to top	"I have been asked if I have changed in these past 25 years. No, I am the same. Only more so." --Ayn Rand IP Logged

Jimi

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Re: Tried to end it all!!!!
Reply #7 - Apr 12^th, 2013 at 12:10pm

Great news Stickman. You are not the first one here that has tried to end it all or at least thought very seriously about it, but things DO get better. Enjoy each pain free day. I am with the others in suggesting you might want to start the d-3 regiman. It will not start a cluster and who knows it might keep you from ever getting them again. It has for others.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

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japanzaman CH.com Veteran Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 210 Fukuoka, JAPAN Gender:	Re: Tried to end it all!!!! Reply #8 - Apr 15^th, 2013 at 10:38am Great to see you are getting some PF days- from the sound of it the beast appeared to have owed you quite a few. Hope they keep coming.
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