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I just want to die........ (Read 2955 times)
Yellowandblue
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I just want to die........
Sep 16th, 2012 at 11:25pm
 
I can see why they call them suicide headaches. I would never ever commit suicide ever ever but oh my god the pain the past couple of nights has been so painful:(  They come at odd times one time they will come at this time go away here comes another...... intense pain feel like I am literally collapse brain is going to explode sharp pains whole nine yards and then panic sets in ( I also suffer from anxiety) so basically I have Cluster and anxiety.  I take my medicine for klonopin for anxiety and take a half  codeine which is bad I understand but here's the deal........ I take topamax I started taking a new medicine which counteracts with imitrex which usually helps with those so now I am in a major pickle here. I just want to crawl in a corner......... My doctors has me at good dose on my topamax can't take the imitrex so now what??  My doctor is out of town this week Sad  Is there anything I can do??? When and if I see the doctor what other medicines besides imitrex work???
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Brew
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #1 - Sep 16th, 2012 at 11:42pm
 
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"I have been asked if I have changed in these past 25 years. No, I am the same. Only more so."  --Ayn Rand
 
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Yellowandblue
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #2 - Sep 17th, 2012 at 12:22am
 
Smiley I do get those moments where I cannot breathe I cannot breathe! I think oxygen would do wonders for me! Thank you!
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AussieBrian
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #3 - Sep 17th, 2012 at 2:21am
 
Sure they're called suicide headaches but, as you've obviously worked out for yourself, you must never give up because that means the bastage has won. Mind you, it doesn't mean for a second we don't know exactly how you feel.

Ice packs help a lot of folks while others get into a boiling hot shower. (I do both simultaneously.)  Try guzzling a Red Bull at the first hint of a hit. Check out the Medication and Treatments board for a thread called "123 days PF" and also consider an OTC medicatment called melatonin which many take just before bed.

Best of all is that you've found your way here so there truly is hope.

Only better days ahead, Y & B.
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My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com
 
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Tussilago
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #4 - Sep 17th, 2012 at 4:09am
 
I know how you feel. If you really don't have oxygen yet then that's the way to go.
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japanzaman
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #5 - Sep 17th, 2012 at 8:46am
 
Start reading on this site and digging through the the varies posts. You'll get caught up real quick about what your up against. Not knowing is really the hardest part, so you're definitely moving in the right direction. Prednisone can be useful to keep the beast at bay while other preventative meds build up to effective levels. Also check out the Vitamin D3 thread on this board and give it a look. Oxygen is also recommended. Good luck Cool
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LasVegas
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #6 - Sep 17th, 2012 at 4:28pm
 
I know how you feel as there have been HUNDREDS of attacks I have contemplated suicide.  Just not the answer as others in my life would be devastated if I did that. 

As Brew had recommended, oxygen is the way to go.  You can try welders o2, a welders regulator and a non-rebreather mask from the CH.com store.  You can be hyperventilating o2 without a prescription and within 48 hours if you get moving.

Also as recommended....Redbulls, ice packs, frozen bag of peas, etc all seem to provide relief for many...try any/all.

Good luck and remember you are not alone...we here truly understand your pain and frustrations.

-Gregg in Las Vegas
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Wishing everybody at CH.com less pain w/ more productivity in their lives in 2019
 
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Kate in Oz
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #7 - Sep 17th, 2012 at 8:33pm
 
OXYGEN!!  It just might change your life  Wink

And if it doesn't work the first time, keep trying, ask questions.

Wish you all the very best!
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Skyhawk5
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #8 - Sep 18th, 2012 at 12:27am
 
Just remember this: ClusterHeads are NOT allowed to die without permission, a note from your mother is not accepted.

I know those thoughts all too well. Getting the best CH treatments make it a smaller problem. This website has info your Doctor does not, in most cases. Read, Learn, and Survive.

Don

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« Last Edit: Sep 18th, 2012 at 12:28am by Skyhawk5 »  

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the Beast , I  have O2 so I fear him not.
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wimsey1
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #9 - Sep 18th, 2012 at 8:14am
 
I have a couple of concerns about your post. What drug are you taking that doesn't allow you to take imitrex? None you mention are counterindicative for imitrex. And I think you misunderstand the use of O2. Yes, anxiety attacks can cause shortness of breath, and yes, the pain of a cluster can bring on an anxiety attack, but...while the use of O2 may help your breathing, we need the flow to be so much higher than it would be for common pulmonary relief. We are looking for a flow that is 15-25lpm, along with a nonrebreather mask which will promote hyperventilation. This is key. Too many "try" O2 at low flow rates (5-10lpm) only to discover that doesn't do them much good. blessings. lance
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ChefChris
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #10 - Sep 28th, 2012 at 2:25am
 
i like monster energy shots when i can find em. its like 2 monster drinks in a 3oz shot. i feel you on the suicide thing....i was getting rebounds for 3 years because of all the oxycontin my doctor said i needed. epic fail there. point is the pain is temporary and it will go away....there is a light at the end of the tunnel...you just have to go the distance. ive never had O2 but i hear it works wonders. frozen peas on the forehead and neck are my savior....and putting my head in the freezer too...lol. just stick with it and listen to the old heads that are here. maybe check out the clusterbusters too. that is my medication when i can find it. Good luck to you!!!!!!
Chris
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life is great clean. thanks NA and rehab. clean date August 4, 2010
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docdog
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #11 - Oct 2nd, 2012 at 4:46pm
 
CH sufferrer for 25 years. In a cycle as we speak. Lots of good advice here on this board. Got to get an oxygen tank and learn how to use it correctly. Ice packs will sometimes provide some relief. I have also found early in an attack to engage in hard aerobic exercise. I know that sounds like it would be difficult and it is, but I've had success aborting attacks on a treadmill. Sometimes honey, there just ain't nothing you can do. I have found that topamax has helped me shorten cycle duration and reduce severity. But everything is so individualized. The only thing I can tell you is that I'm 60 years old,have suffered on and off for 25 years, and I'm still here to talk about it. It will not kill you. You need to be stronger than it. You need to summon every bit of strength you have and never let it beat you mentally, no matter how bad you feel, no matter how tired you are, no matter how painful it is. You must never let it completely control you. God bless you and good luck to you. I will say a prayer for you.
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idorko
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Re: I just want to die........
Reply #12 - Oct 3rd, 2012 at 3:30am
 
I'm 27 days into my first cycle and oxygen has saved me. It's cut my attack time by 75 percent and brings the intensity down with no nasty side effects.

Also 10mg of melatonin before bedtime has removed any nocturnal attack for me.

Best of luck!
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