An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago's most expensive hotel.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic -sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."

'But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel
shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is only made out for $50.00."

'That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Oh Ruthie...I've missed you!

Joe