Yes, I am a bad sufferer, not because of the headaches, but because I never come here til I'm in cycle. I come here and read others talking about it, rarely post, but keep coming back daily to just know I'm not alone in this. that I'm not "abnormal".

I have skipped 3 years, thank god for the 'alternatives' I have found here, the only thing that ever aborted cycles for me.

Have been having these for 25 years now and hoped I had outgrown them, and now I think this cycle is even worse. Not the headaches themselves, I can handle that, it is the free time, when my mind runs, when I'm afraid to sleep due to the devil waiting. The working 12 hour shifts on 3 hours sleep... these are the times I'm going crazy, and having hoped beyond hope that I was free, and getting them now, I have really crashed emotionally, and that on top of the normal physical crash has me just lost....

But I'm a bad clusterhead, because there are so many of you that are here, even when you don't need the support, to help others, and that isn't me. I pretend it doesn't exist when I get free of my demon, I try to forget it exist....
Just saying thanks to those that give their time and their hearts all the time.

sorry if this is rambling, been hit 4 to 5 times every night, oxygen keeps me up after for some reason and running on about 8 hours sleep in the last 3 days.

thanks all
Mark Hebert

Mark,

I'm the same way. I found this site 6 years ago and spent a lot of time reading and learning. Then I left until last year when I stopped in for a quick look around. This year I'm back for good. It's so easy to pretend that I'm not ECH when I'm in remission. The topic never comes up till I get hit. Then it's the only thing that gets talked about.

Good luck to you.

@ Ginger - I love your cartoon graphic. One of my personal faves.

~ Katie

ginger, I haven't been to the doc yet so not sure what she is going to try this year, I know one thing, I won't do Lithium again, it messed me up!

and I did use the clusterbuster 'cures'.... the shrooms worked fantastic for me, just my old friends either quit, or might be in jail now... lol

was just reading about the melatonin, going to get some now... I have always wondered about the daylight effect, but I work nights and sleep days, well, used to sleep during the days.... now I just do my 100 year old man shuffle in the bathroom...

will post with how it works out after I try it.

Hi Mark.  Yes, guilt is lame and overrated so let it go...but just because you can't get your psilocybe friends don't forget about other medicines.  RC seeds work great for many and are legal to obtain over the internet, just not legal to ingest, so don't ingest them, just obtain them (wink).  That's my understanding anyways.  Check out the busters and they can give you more info if you want.   

--Shaggy