Hi Chris and all,

I'm new here too. - Jill, 43.  I have been an episodic sufferer since my late 20's.  After finally being diagnosed and trying different things I now probably take the highest dose of Verapamil you're allowed everyday and I managed to go 2 years headache-free until last Spring.  That cycle lasted 6 weeks and I have just recently been getting that feeling again that sometimes precedes the start of a cycle for me.  I use Maxalt to halt attacks and most of the time it works for me.  I have never tried Oxygen but have wanted to know how to possibly use that over Maxalt which I have trouble getting sometimes.  My doctor wanted me to try oxygen years ago and I was having insurance issues so I never did.  It's possible that since there has been a change in insurance I might be able to pursue that again.  Since Maxalt/Verapamil together are helpful most of the time though, I have been afraid to try other methods.
Let me just say that "fear and feeling alone in my suffering" was where I spent many years until finding this site.  My husband is the typical doting spouse that I see mentioned here over and over.  But his frustration and sadness over being able to do nothing for me when the attacks hit, makes him fearful and feeling helpless as well.  We've been so glad to read and see things here that we can relate to!

One thing has me concerned.  When I saw the doctor in May, he mentioned to me that when the cycle I was in ended, he wanted me to wait a few months and then start to cut back on the dosage of Verapamil.  It's time to think about it and I am SO SCARED to do that.  I have tried it in the past and it has almost ALWAYS resulted in the immediate start of a new cycle for me.  I don't know what to do.  Has anyone else had success with Verapamil to the point of dependancy like I feel I am?
I read everywhere on these sites about methods that worked for people for years, just plain quitting out!  I am a big scardey cat for sure with this condition and thinking that I won't be able to find relief. 
I do have a strong faith and I trust that God will not give me more than I can handle but I worry a lot since the fear of that pain paralyses me at times.

I work fulltime as a teacher and I have children of my own too.  May family has always been supportive.  However, believe it or not, at work I just told my administration and collegues about it for the first time last Spring (since I have had other cycles over the summer months and at times when I couuld manage to get work time off or when the attacks were always hitting at night).  I was afraid to tell them for fear that no one would believe that I am dibilitated when these hit and just saying "You're a wimp for not just taking your Advil and getting back to work."  I work with "regular" headaches all of the time! This site gave me the courage to say that I am not crazy or alone in this and to back up the claims that I have made that this is one of the worst, most dibiltaing conditions I have ever heard mention of. 

I still feel a bit freakish as people stare at me when I try to explain how the headaches work and how they start and stop, come at the same time of day, make my eye and nose run and how they make me a mess of a crazy person who can't function, lay down, talk or be comforted because of the indescribable intensity of the pain. Many people I know are migraine sufferes and while I would not want their condition either, I know that it is not at all the same.  Empathy only exists between those of us who are in that minority of Cluster sufferers.

My husband and I are up for meeting with people who are in the same boat.  I would be grateful, if we do get to meet and if any of you have spouses, to have them come along to share experiences too.

All the best and again I am so thankful to have a place to reach out!
~Jill