A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
          
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.
            
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, *dear *-- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
          
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, *'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once!!?*'
            
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well *dear* you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
            
As the officer makes out the *second ticket* for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glares at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
          
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
            
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
back pocket.'
            
The wife says, 'Now,*dear,* you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
            
And as the police officer is writing out the *third ticket*, the driver turns to his wife and barks, *'WHY IN THE HELLO DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??**'*

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
            
           *(I love this part)*
          
*Oh Heavens No Officer... *'He Only do it when he's been drinking.!!**'*


HAA, HAA...

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