Here is a joke that no matter how many times I hear it still makes me laugh.

Jim was an older guy who after a lifetime of hard work was finally ready for retirement. Being sick of city life Jim decided to buy a nice isolated piece of property in the woods far away from everybody. So Jim moves out to his wilderness paradise and all goes well for the first few months' nothing but peace and quite with no annoying neighbors Jim has finally found peace.

One day as Jim sits sunning himself and enjoying a cocktail on the front porch in his rocking chair, he notices a rather large man in overalls and not much else coming toward the house from over the hilltop in the distance. The "mountain man" finally makes it to Jims house and introduces himself. Name's Enoch he says and I wanted to invite you to a little party I'm having at my place tonight. Great thought Jim even "even though I love the peace and quiet I am getting a bit lonely for some human company". Then Enoch says " I have to warn you though there's gonna be some drinking at this here party" To which Jim replies "no problem I was in a Biker club for years and I can drink most guys under the table". Then Enoch says "there's gonna be some fightin at the party too". Again Jim replies" no problem I was in the marines for ten years and can whoop ass like I drink". Again Enoch pipes up with "there's definitely gonna be some sex at this here party too". Now Jim really gets excited because after all this time in the woods alone sex with a woman really sounds enticing. So finally Jim says "this sounds like a great party what time should I be there? and what should I wear?". To which Enoch replies " oh it don't matter it's just gonna be you and me"