I do not suffer from cluster headaches but my husband of a year and a half does.  He has had them all throughout his life but had until recently been in remission.  He started having them again and it has been very hard on us.  I have absolutely no idea what he's going through or how to be there for him.  The first couple times he had them he was screaming at me to be quiet because whatever I was doing was hurting his head.  So when he starts having them I try to leave the room and give him peace but he insists he wants me around... I just don't know what to do or how to be there for him.  The doctor prescribed him maxall(?) to take when he feels the headaches come on, oxygen, and a painkiller for after the oxygen and it seems to be working.  He mainly gets them at about 10-11pm but the last few have occurred while he's asleep and then he wakes up in agony.  I wake up with him standing over me crying in pain and I just don't know what to do.  He's pushing me away, saying he wants a divorce because I'm not there for him.. I just don't know how to be there for him.  It seems like every other time I've been there I just made it worse.  I love him so much and just want them to go away.  He's been referred to a neurologist but has yet to make the appointment...

Have him come here and look around.

              Potter

Check your pm's......they're in the upper left corner of this board under "messages."

Get him on the board. There are thousands of us here, we understand. No one will tell him he's exxagerating or it's just a headache! There are many treatment options available, let's get his education started.

You need to go to the supporters section and post there too! That's where our spouses, partners and families go to bitch about what absolute pain in the butts we are when in cycle. Lots of support there for you saints who stand by us.

Joe

The doc's intentions are good but his treatment suggests he is not well trained in headache. Pain meds are of no value for Cluster; most of us use Prednisone to rapidly abort attacks (within a day) while--at the same time--starting a preventive med which reduces the intensity and frequency of attacks for the long haul.

Print out the PDF file for your education and use as a tool to discuss treatment options with the doc.

Acutally, finding a headache specialist is the best route, if you have that option. If you can, avoid general neurologists because, as a group, they also lack deep training in headache.
====
LOCATING HEADACHE SPECIALIST

1. Search the OUCH site (button on left) for a list of recommended M.D.s.

2. Yellow Pages phone book: look for "Headache Clinics" in the M.D. section and look under "neurologist" where some docs will list speciality areas of practice.

3.  Call your hospital/medical center. They often have an office to assist in finding a physician. You may have to ask for the social worker/patient advocate.

4. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or On-line screen to find a physician.

5. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or Look for "Physician Finder" search box. They will send a list of M.D.s for your state.I suggest using this source for several reasons: first, we have read several messages from people who, even seeing neurologists, are unhappy with the quality of care and ATTITUDES they have encountered; second, the clinical director of the Jefferson (Philadelphia) Headache Clinic said, in late 1999, that upwards of 40%+ of U.S. doctors have poor training in treating headache and/or hold attitudes about headache ("hysterical female disorder") which block them from sympathetic and effective work with the patient; third, it's necessary to find a doctor who has experience, skill, and a set of attitudes which give hope of success. This is the best method I know of to find such a physician.

6. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or NEW certification program for "Headache Medicine" by the United Council for Neurologic Subspecialties, an independent, non-profit, professional medical organization.
        Since this is a new program, the initial listing is limited and so it should be checked each time you have an interest in locating a headache doctor.
========

In terms of helping your husband, there is little you can do in terms of direct treatment/help. Doing the search for a specialist is within your ability but during an attack--do what he asks for--SILENCE, often darkness, suggest (when not having an attack) that he try sitting upright in a supportive chair, breath slowly and deeply, and relax muscles as much as possible. Works for some of us. But don't talk, suggest, offer help,etc.

Hope he will read the article (PDF) for personal knowledge is essential.

Steph,

Come on downstairs to the supporters corner!

Folks ahead of me here have given some great advice for your husband. Treating CH is a combo of preventatives, abortives, and also understanding triggers. They can talk more about that. The deal with oxygen is it has to be used correctly. If someone is using correctly, the headache should be over in 5-10 minutes. (Check the info under the yellow Oxygen button).

So...here's what I do when my husband gets hit:
He likes it quiet. Or maybe I like it to be quiet for him. Not sure. Anyway, he grabs his 02 tank. That's my signal. I grab him a RedBull (he likes the sugar free kind) and icepack. He drinks the redbull kind of fast, he likes it cold too. And he holds the icepack, if he wants it, on his head behind the eye area I think. he doesn't always use it. Then I leave the room. but I peek on him now and then. Honestly, he's been getting through them so much better this cycle since we added the redbull to the routine.

The other thing is never leave home without tools. We keep imitrex in both cars. Generally he has his tank in the car too. And we have redbulls in the car. There's no reason to suffer when out. The other night we were at his retirement party and he got hit. He let me know...and he headed in to the bathroom for a shot of imitrex. He was back 5-10 minutes later, I don't even think anyone noticed.

Also agree with Shaggy that major life changing conversations need to be deferred during CH time. We have a joke at our house that "It's the CH talking" if my dear husband is wearing his cranky pants that day. We can joke about it later, but not at the time.

You're already showing your love for him by finding this site, now share what you're learning even more. And go ahead and get that neuro appt! Even though you already have the O2, the neuro can help get the prevent meds going. They're something he needs to take once a cycle starts to help block some of the CH's. Bob Johnson gave you great info about this.

Good luck, and come down to supporters corner when you get a chance!

Christy