Random Thoughts for the Day...
or EVERYDAY:
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
One word..."password"...but really, no I mean REALLY...there's nothin' there...
REALLY
...oh sh....
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
When a man starts an argument with a woman...he ALREADY knows he's wrong...no matter if he's RIGHT.... "if a man says something in the forest, and there's no woman around, is he still wrong?...YUP"
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
If I could have saved those up...now that I can't...oh my...
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
WTF!!!! What are you talkin abou....oh...got it.....
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Ummmm...what is "folding"??????
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
Please, can you tell that to Mrs. Rosenquist?...
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I still need someone to hold my hand....
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Yup...and NOPE...
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Gonna try a nap...oh crap...
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
Bad stories make for good decisions..."the wise man learns from OTHERS mistakes, not his own" Bismarck?
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Yup...right after the first cup of coffee....
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
My 8-track collection is just fine...can't play 'em...but they are just fine...
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
Worse yet...it DOESN'T ask when you HAVE....
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.
The label is just a "suggestion"...it ALL goes in...that colored/whites on the dial...bwaaaaaaa-hahahahaha!
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
Call back? I didn't want to talk to you in the first place....
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
Confident?...looking good?...never been there...
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Ahhhh...let 'em eat voice mail hell....
18. My grandson asked me in the car the other day "Papa what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
EASY PEASY....if you EVER even SEE a ninja...you'd NEVER be able to run him over...now then, try explaining "why is the sky blue?" to a 5 yr old....
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
The ice cream is round...the ice cubes are square...the frozen lasagna is rectangular...what more do you need?
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
Who's this Kay person?...where's this Jewelers bar?...they selling "beer goggles"?...well then...