The Royal Society of Chemistry says it has been contacted by terrified members of the public desperate to find a way of keeping the eight legged creatures out of their homes.
The RSC is offering £300 to anyone who can back the claims with persuasive evidence that spider 'conkerphobia' really exists.
Not a great fan of the old hairy legs myself so I thought I’d try the conker solution,
It seems the conkers have to be fresh so off I went stick in hand for a little conker rustling.
Fortunately conker season’s early this year so I wasn’t disappointed,
After claiming my place by threatening the youngsters already throwing sticks high into the branches, (sod off you little buggers) I began my quest.
It wasn’t long before I’d got my quota and home I trod.
I’ve got them by the back door, front door, window sills and anyplace they could be hiding.
Twas a scene from the battle for middle earth, rows of shiny red conkers on one side and the arachnids, twitching their bodies in readiness for a breach in defenses
Feeling relaxed that no spider was to sneak across my relaxed feet, off came the socks
Don’t really think it worked as there was one, nonchalantly crossed legged, cigarette in hand in defiance with a look of must try harder emblazoned across its smug little face.
Think I’ll stick to wack em with the paper if the pooch doesn’t eat em first

I don't suppose that my attitude is considered environmentally sensitive, but since I moved from the beach in California to some acreage in deep pine tree woods in Texas: I have learned to maintain vigil with a defensive perimeter.........

The 12 foot zone of death all the way around my house.

Marc