1.  Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty
things.

2.      One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3.      Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4.      If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?

5.      The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
all the bad girls live.

6.      I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.

7.      What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8.      If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his
hands with soap?

9.      If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill
himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10.     Is there another word for synonym?

11.     Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?

12.     What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?

13.     If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?

14.     Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15.     Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?

16.     If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17.     Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18.     If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right
to remain silent?

19.     Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20.     How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

21.     One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other
people.

22.     Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

23.     Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

24.     How is it possible to have a civil war?

25.     If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Ya'll have a nice weekend now ya hear...

Hugs BD

Things to Pounder on a Friday.....

Quote:


With some Saturday afternoon pondrin', the townsfolk of Rock Ridge were faced with this dramatic dilemma and convinced.  Who am I to doubt this collective wisdom.   







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Bart: [low voice] Hold it! Next man makes a move, the [sheriff] gets it!

Olson Johnson: Hold it, men. He's not bluffing.

Dr. Sam Johnson: Listen to him, men. He's just crazy enough to do it!

Bart: [low voice] Drop it! Or I swear I'll blow this [sheriff's] head all over this town!

Bart: [high-pitched voice] Oh, lo'dy, lo'd, he's desp'it! Do what he say, do what he say!

Harriet Johnson: Isn't anybody going to help that poor man?

Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!

Bart: [high-pitched voice] Oooh! He'p me, he'p me! Somebody he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me!

Bart: [low voice] Shut up!







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