NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation
to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire.'
Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got
stuck on the first question and proceeded to make
what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute
worst use of lifelines ever.' After being introduced
to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed
with a typically easy initial $100 question.
The question was: 'Which of the following is the
largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all
consuming panic as she did not readily know the
answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things
before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her
three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were
removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an
elephant or the moon. However, faced with an
incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!'
exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.
'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!'
said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the
following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the
moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are
you? Duh, that can't be it.'
To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans
declined to take her friend's advice. 'I just don't
know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that
bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,'
said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience
returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.'
Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made
the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm
thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But
you know, sometimes you just got to go with your
gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with
B, an elephant. Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only
one waiting with bated breath - and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
From me: The scariest part is who the heck was the 2% of the audience who got it wrong?????
Sandy