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katjac

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So Sad
Nov 17^th, 2008 at 7:30pm

I don't know if it is the being in pain all of the time, or the fact that that being in pain all of the time has taken away so much of my life as I've known it for the past 38 years, I don't know if it the fact that I feel like I can't be the mom I want to be for my kids because of the pain, I don't know, all I know is I'm down in the dumps.

Do any of you feel like this? I don't know maybe I am starting to come to the reality that this my be some life long thing I am going to have to be challenged with and that has me sad. I just can not stop crying. My poor kids, mom is always either reeling in pain or crying Sad

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MkeithD

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That which does not kill
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Philadelphia, PA.
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Re: So Sad
Reply #1 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 3:15pm

hey katjac

dad feels the way sometimes. I'm supposed to be the strong protector. not whimpering on the floor...crawling for my O2 tank or my injections. or having a plateful of pills for breakfast while my beautiful little girl has cheerios...

but we have no choice really its our job to be strong for them despite our worries and suffering. eventually, yes i think you are right. it is something we are going to carry around with us for the rest of our lives.
some people say that pleasure is the absence of pain...wtf do you do if you are in pain all the time? what i do is i look at my little girl and think what is she going to learn about life from me? how can i teach her to deal with all this shit when i feel i've been dealt an unfair hand? MY BRAIN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!
and then she will ask me...."daddy are you having a headache?" that makes me feel worse than a friggin CH attack.

she is the only thing keeping me going. she is the thing that makes me determined to suffer in silence through every attack i have. FUCK THE BEAST. I have a kid to raise. lets get the damn headache over with already.

hang in there. please your kids need you. you have every right to feel like shit. but you can't give in.

MKD

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Bob Johnson

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Kennett Square, PA (USA)
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Re: So Sad
Reply #2 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 3:23pm

You're suggesting, I think, depression as a result of chronic disability/pain, etc. Yes, very possible.

Obviously, the first question is whether you are receiving good treatment for the CH. Assuming a good doc, etc., then the issue becomes treating the depression directly. I'd surely suggest you bring this issue up with your doc. We have some pretty effective treatments today.

You might also look at: Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to

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Bob Johnson

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MkeithD

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Re: So Sad
Reply #3 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 3:33pm

possible? you don't think it sucks going through this then you should probably find some help of your own.

i'm in therapy for dealing with CH cause i cant keep a job. between poly pharmacy. an pain management. not to mention side effects from shit like prednisone. i took a taper nearly a month ago and neuros are telling me i am still having "emotional side effects" from it.

possible? *sneers*

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Ellick CH.com Veteran Offline ET found here. Posts: 200 x1\|Aylesbury\|UK Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #4 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 3:52pm What kind of treatment are you using? Seems like getting some control over the pain would be a major help in lifting your spirits. There is so much information and good advice here. I have children and know what you mean. It always amazes me how adaptable they are. You are not on your own. My thoughts are with you. Ellick.
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Charlotte CH.com Alumnus Offline Posts: 2385 Patterson,California Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #5 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:00pm wow! MkEITH, DON'T PICK ON BOB! Charlotte
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MkeithD

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Re: So Sad
Reply #6 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:10pm

cant help it his post made him seem kinda out of touch. in my opinion. I'm not suggesting the possibility that dealing with CH can lead to depression and/or extreme frustration. that should be an unstated fact. makes me wonder if he is a masochist or if he even has CH.

sorry his post (obviously)just pissed me off. i was just trying to say something nice and be supportive to katjac

MKD

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gizmo CH.com Hall of Famer Offline Posts: 522 Germany Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #7 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:12pm MKD, if CH results in depression depends a lot on your own attitude towards it! Oliver
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Melissa

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Don't give up!

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Re: So Sad
Reply #8 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:18pm

MkeithD wrote on Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:10pm:

makes me wonder if he is a masochist or if he even has CH.

sorry his post (obviously)just pissed me off. i was just trying to say something nice and be supportive to katjac

MKD

MKD, I think you should really research someone's posts before going and making such kind of accusations. Bob was in no way saying anything to the contrary of katjac possibly having depression. If you have a problem with another member, you need to PM one of the administrators about it, which would be DJ or MrsDeej.

katjac- A huge thing with CH's is having a good preventative. Some use Verapamil, some Tompamax, and then there are those like me who use Kudzu or a Melatonin combo. Working with your doctor and doing research on what has helped/not helped others on this site can help you build an arsenol to manage your hits, which means reducing the frequency and intensity, so that abortives have a better chance of working.

Take care,
melissa

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Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

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Jimi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't feed the moderators Posts: 4925 Madisonville, KY Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #9 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:25pm Keith, Bob was agreeing with what was being said. He said that is very possible. Did you even read the link that he posted? And then your next post was even worse. Bob has helped many a newbie on here in the many years he has been on here. I know you are in pain, but that was uncalled for.
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MkeithD

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Re: So Sad
Reply #10 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:49pm

*yawns*
im on plenty off drugs. just cause im tagged newbie on these forums you all are pre-judging me, just like you are accusing me of doing to the almighty bob.

you all obviously have much more fun dealing with CH than i do which is why i have so few posts......I DONT WANT TO BE FUCKING DOING THIS.

have fun wallowing in your misery. i came here for support. and when i try to support someone else. you "old timers" try to berate me for being frustrated and depressed? and pissed off when some knuckle head. asks if i "suggest the possibility..." and instead of bob offering something personal and supportive...he what posts a hyper link?

go fuck yourselves have a moderator ban my account i dont need this shit. CH gives me enough grief.

FUCK YOU ALL. may your heads explode. i um obviously got my own fuckin problems without you morons whining to me....this is the reason i normally dont try to help strangers.

t(*_*t) MKDs final post

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Jimi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't feed the moderators Posts: 4925 Madisonville, KY Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #11 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 4:51pm Not a problem
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GrandPotentate

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mmmmmmmmmm

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Michigan City, IN USA
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Re: So Sad
Reply #12 - Feb 12^th, 2009 at 6:43pm

Hey guys, take your issues elsewhere. This is katjac's thread, and I hope we can give her a hand. katjac, sorry about this, but sometimes we vent....

If you are still there, please check back in and let us know what's up. This site has helped me a ton, and I hope we can offer some support for you as well.

Your kids love you, with or without. Everybody's got something - this just happens to be our thing. Don't let the beast win.

Jon

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Jon

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Charlotte

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Re: So Sad
Reply #13 - Feb 13^th, 2009 at 9:50am

MDK, I apologize for yelling at you.

Jon, this was a double post and the other thread was normal and supportive.

I thought it impossible that someone would post in November and no one answered until February. Katjac hasn't been on-line since 12-16, according to profile.

I apologize for being so negative. I need to work on that.

Charlotte

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Iddy CH.com Alumnus Offline Smile Posts: 486 Toronto,Canada Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #14 - Feb 13^th, 2009 at 6:45pm Pain,physical and emotional makes us human beings lash out in the most irrational ways. We are all different yet so much alike. Walk in Peace
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GrandPotentate CH.com Old Timer Offline mmmmmmmmmm Posts: 254 Michigan City, IN USA Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #15 - Feb 13^th, 2009 at 10:53pm Maybe we need another visit from a troll so we can all vent.... Love ya all. Jon
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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: So Sad Reply #16 - Feb 14^th, 2009 at 1:24am Politely disagreeing with you Charlotte. I didn't see anything you needed to apologize for. Joe
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