I haven't been on this board in a long time, close to five years. I'm not a very social person in person either, so it's just my nature. So, I apologize for popping in after a long absence. Not here to beg for help without providing any (don't like those forum types). Just back to let you all know my story and hopefully some of it can help others.

Okay, five years. Five. Peaceful. Years. The memory was gone. I'm not even sure if humans are capable of truly remembering pain. We can probably picture it, but it's only a vague semblance of the real thing. There's no way to remember The Beast. His dark face hides from those of us who are not chronic. I thought him dead. I thought he'd moved on to another plane of Hell. Nope.

I'm not sure what brought him back, it's been almost a month now. There are several possibilities, so I will share them with you. It's been hot/cold, hot/cold here in north Texas. One day it's 65F, the next day it's 29F (like it was this morning when The Beast forced me out of my cubicle into the parking lot and crying in my truck like a child. I didn't have any pain meds with me, and I'd already downed my coffee and a Mountain Dew. Seemed like I was in it for the long haul (pain level 10). BUT since I knew I was back in an episode, I had a Starbucks Refresher stashed. THAT knocked him back to hell.

The other possibility is I'm on Lexapro for anxiety issues. I just started the Lexapro two months ago. My previous experience has been that the thing that starts the episode takes a bit of time. Running in the cold used to cause it for me. I could run for about three weeks and be fine. Fourth week: KA-BLAM!

Lexapro is an SSRI, and I've read before that serotonin levels MAY have something to do with episodes. Not sure.

The thing that ended my episode before was Nortriptyline prescribed by my neurologist.  Unfortunately, I let the prescription run out (egoist that I am). Now I'm trying everything from Melatonin to cinnamon to break the cycle.

Also started the water trick. I'm throwing everything at him that I can.

Tuesday I have an appointment with a new neurologist (closer to my new job). His assistant said to not stop taking the Lexapro without an examination; however I've already started weaning myself off of it just in case. It's only 10mg, and I wasn't in severe depression, just anxiety issues.

So...there you have it, folks. I hope some of this helps anyone out there who has thought themselves free of The Beast, only to find him return after a long absence.

Best of luck to you all.

P.S. My story is like many others on this board: crying, pacing, squirming around on the floor like I'm possessed, sitting in the shower at 2am; telling my wife to kill me with a hammer and to plant a knife on me so she can get off with a self defense claim...you name it. The Beast is bad. He is evil and he shows no mercy.