Hi everyone. I'm Laura and I live in San Diego. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we are incredibly happy together with plans to get married, start a family and all. Unfortunately, his current bout of cluster headaches is derailing our happy existence. He's suffered from attacks for the last 13 or so years, once every couple of years and right around October/November. I love him so much and have been horrified to witness his agony every night and day. I'm doing everything I can to make his life easier while he goes through this particularly difficult time, but I'm beginning to feel weak: not in the sense that I would ever leave him, but I'm beginning to break down emotionally like he is. I just don't know what to do. We're having to cancel plans and I'm tired at work after waking up with him multiple times during the night, but my personal problems are nothing compared to what he's experiencing. I just want to help, but have no idea how since it was just last month that I had never even heard of cluster headaches.

I don't know why I write all of this, but it would be great to talk to others who understand because nobody around me does.  :-/ Thank you in advance for welcoming me into your community. I'm very glad to have found this website.

You came to the right place, people here understand what you are going through ;). I am a chronic sufferer of six years. For me relationships have always been hard with cluster headaches, girls didn't always understand my situation or they just couldn't handle it all. My current significant other has a very hard time too, but she understands witch is very important. It makes me feel better to know that she does. Sometimes she feels so helpless but she does what she can to make my life easier. You coming to this site is a great first step, read everything you can here, soak it all in. Be there for him, get cold rags for him ready in the freezer ect., help him research his condition and maybe even go to some appointments with him if you are both comfortable with that. I'm still a newbie compared to most here but I saw this post and thought I could relate, I hope it helped a bit ;)

Laura F. wrote on Nov 12^th, 2012 at 12:55am:

I just want to help, but have no idea how

What has he been using to prevent the attacks or abort each one?  There are prescriptions and there are alternatives that can be effective at minimizing and managing clusters.  It doesn't sound like these are helping him. 

Hello Laura, it's good that you posted here as CH is a grossly misunderstood condition and it causes almost as much pain for the loved ones as it does for the sufferer.

What your boyfriend needs is a good neuro who will recommend a combination of strategies to manage the condition. There are at least two things that he will need: a preventative and an abortive.

Preventatives reduce the severity and frequency of attacks. There are a number of medications that a neurologist could prescribe so check with him/her and keep trying different dosages and medications until he finds something that works.

Abortives stop an attack when it is occurring and is a necessity as even the best preventatives aren't 100%. Oxygen therapy is universally recommended here as it is about the safest thing he could take for to quickly abort an attack. There are other medications that can be used as a backup when the oxygen doesn't work.

You're right that untreated cluster headaches completely derail the lives of the sufferer and those around him/her, so make sure he gets the treatment that he needs. Once the condition is managed, most CH sufferers can lead a normal, happy life.

ALRIGHT!!!! Another San Diegan, there are so few of us normal people on this board. ;)

Check yourt PM's for my phone number and have you and/or your significant other call me. I'm a 52 year old episodic CH'er for the last 35 years. I'm blessed with a wife who has supported me for 32 of those 35 years of CH. She'd be a great resource for you as when it comes to supporters she rocks.

There are too many effective treatments, both prevents and abortives, for him to be getting routinely creamed. I'd be happy to come over and show him how to use oxygen to abort attacks in about 6-8 minutes. Then we can discuss the specialists in San Diego avaiulable to bring him some relief. So glad you found us, there is SOOO much help available,

JOe