A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.
He had never seen them before, so he began: "My name is Stone, and I'm even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.
Don't try any tricks with me, and then we'll get on well together".
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. "Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly," He said, "and don't forget to call me 'sir'".
Each soldier told him his name, until he came to the last one.
This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, "When I ask you a question, answer it! I'll ask you again: What's you name,soldier?"
The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. "My name is Stonebreaker, sir" he said nervously...


I was sitting at home on the deck with the wife and said, "I love you."

In surprise she asks,

"Is that you or the beer talking?"

Had to be honest & replied,

"It's me ... talking to the beer."

And then the fight started.


Travelling down the Hume Highway and needing to use the restroom,
I stop at a rest area and head for the toilet stall.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them"No..I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions


Cell phones, don't you just love them.

Very funny, but the joke about the beer reminds me how much I LOOVVVVVE beer and can't have any!