CAN YOU  IMAGINE THE  NUN SITTING AT  HER DESK  GRADING THESE  PAPERS, ALL  THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP  A STRAIGHT  FACE AND  MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!
PAY  SPECIAL  ATTENTION TO THE WORDING  AND SPELLING.  IF YOU KNOW  THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE,
YOU'LL FIND  THIS HILARIOUS! IT  COMES FROM A  CATHOLIC  ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS  WERE ASKED  QUESTIONS
ABOUT THE OLD  AND NEW  TESTAMENTS.  THE FOLLOWING
25 STATEMENTS  ABOUT THE  BIBLE WERE  WRITTEN BY
CHILDREN.THEY  HAVE NOT BEEN  RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS  BEEN LEFT IN.



1. IN  THE FIRST BOOK  OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD  GOT TIRED OF  CREATING THE  WORLD SO HE TOOK THE  SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM  AND EVE WERE  CREATED FROM  AN APPLE TREE.  NOAH'S WIFE  WAS JOAN OF  ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE  ANIMALS CAME  ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS  WIFE WAS A  PILLAR OF SALT  DURING THE  DAY, BUT A  BALL OF FIRE  DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE  JEWS WERE A  PROUD PEOPLE  AND THROUGHOUT  HISTORY THEY  HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC  GENITALS.
5.  SAMPSON WAS A  STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE  LED ASTRAY BY  A JEZEBEL LIKE  DELILAH.
6.  SAMSON SLAYED  THE PHILISTINES  WITH THE AXE  OF THE  APOSTLES.
7.  MOSES LED THE  JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE  THEY MADE UNLEAVENED  BREAD,WHICH  IS BREAD  WITHOUT ANY  INGREDIENTS.
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE  ALL DROWNED IN  THE DESSERT.  AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP  TO MOUNTCYANIDE  TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE  FIRST  COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE  TOLD ADAM TO  EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE  SEVENTH  COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT  ADMIT  ADULTERY.
11.  MOSES DIED  BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA  LED THE  HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE  OF  GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST  MIRICLE IN THE  BIBLE IS WHEN  JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO  STAND STILL  AND HE OBEYED  HIM.
13.  DAVID WAS A  HEBREW KING WHO WAS  SKILLED AT  PLAYING THE  LIAR. HE  FOUGHT THE  FINKELSTEINS,  A RACE OF  PEOPLE WHO  LIVED IN BIBLICAL  TIMES.
14.  SOLOMON, ONE  OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300  WIVES AND 700  PORCUPINES.
15.  WHEN MARY  HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF  JESUS, SHE  SANG THE MAGNA  CARTA.
16.  WHEN THE THREE  WISE GUYSFROM  THE EAST SIDE  ARRIVED THEY  FOUND JESUS IN  THE MANAGER.
17.  JESUS WAS BORN  BECAUSE MARY HAD AN  IMMACULATE  CONTRAPTION.
18. ST.  JOHN THE  BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER  ON HIS HEAD.
19.  JESUS  ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE,  WHICH SAYS TO  DO UNTO OTHERS  BEFORE THEY DO  ONE TO YOU. HE  ALSO EXPLAINED  A MAN DOTH NOT  LIVE BY SWEAT  ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE  WHEN JESUS  ROSE FROM THE  DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET  THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE  ENTRANCE.
21. THE  PEOPLE WHO  FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE  CALLED THE 12  DECIBELS.
22. THE  EPISTELS WERE  THE WIVES OF  THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE  OF THE  OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW  WHO WAS ALSO A  TAXIMAN.
24. ST.  PAUL CAVORTED  TO CHRISTIANITY,  HE PREACHED  HOLY ACRIMONY,  WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME  FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS  HAVE ONLY ONE  SPOUSE. THIS  IS CALLED MONOTONY. 

My favorite is #17.

Sandy

;D ;D ;D

I was partial to #25! ::)

Joe

I like #14.  The visual is killer.   ;D

Best,

George