It's 2012 and its the Olympics in London. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishmen want to get in  But they haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover. Tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. "McTavish, Scotland. Discus" he says, and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. "Pocklington-Smythe, England. Pole vault" he says, and in he walks.

The Irishman looks round and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm, "O'Malley, Ireland. Fencing."