How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

1 to post in ALL CAPS

2 to explain that this is considered shouting and impolite

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

50 people to argue over the environmental benefit of fluorescent bulbs versus incandescent bulbs

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb forum.

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

5 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.

15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and their own light bulbs.

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

4 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs.

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.


Got this off of another forum...

<sigh>

How very relentlessly true this is.   :P 

Best,

George

Oh yeah...this is the truth all right.   Very insightful about human nature no matter what forum one is on.

Thanks for my belly-laugh for the day!   ;D

You didn't include the use of 55 watt bulbs instead of 60 watt bulbs to conserve electricity and save the world form Global Warming.  I don't believe you even have light bulbs!  Do you have a diagnosis from an LB Specialist? 

Thanks for your enlightening post.

Jerry

;D  Good one!  I feel enlightened.


Jerry your response was PERFECT!!   [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Lightbulbs don't really exist. They are just a rumour put out by the World Bank and the IMF as a reason to charge you greenhouse gas emissions trading scheme taxes enforced by people flying around in black helicopters.

We know all this because we saw a reflection in the visor of one of the Astronauts (when they faked the moon landings) which showed it on a document held by the second shooter on the grassy knoll.

For confirmation, we asked the CIA who denied it, so it must be true.

So get making your tinfoil hats as it'll stop the FBI from using mind altering rays to brainwash you.

Missed one...

1 to say they're not light bulbs but, rather, they're "dark suckers":

The Dark Sucker Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric light bulbs emit light. But, recent information has proved otherwise. Electric lightbulbs don't emit light - they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room. With all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that, as it is used, the wick progressively turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers (erroneously known as "flashlights"). In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter dark floats at the top. This is why it is called light. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the dark slowly leave the closet. But, since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

The next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a DARK SUCKER.

chbob04 wrote on Dec 8^th, 2010 at 11:39pm:

Missed one... 1 to say they're not light bulbs but, rather, they're "dark suckers": The Dark Sucker Theory For years, it has been believed that electric light bulbs emit light. But, recent information has proved otherwise. Electric lightbulbs don't emit light - they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light. First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room. With all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that, as it is used, the wick progressively turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers (erroneously known as "flashlights"). In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle. Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter dark floats at the top. This is why it is called light. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the dark slowly leave the closet. But, since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. The next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a DARK SUCKER.

I'm not sure if you are a philophoser or s scientist  There were elements of both in your elucidation on the matter of light and dark.  Well said, Sir, well said.

Oi! What about us left-handed, lesbian, limbo dancers?  We do light bulbs too, ya know!

AussieBrian wrote on Dec 10^th, 2010 at 6:06pm:

Oi! What about us left-handed, lesbian, limbo dancers?  We do light bulbs too, ya know!

[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

[smiley=eek.gif]And I've been told that, I'm just not right!

Brian you are too much!!  [smiley=bow.gif]  ;D ;D