Yes, I am a bad sufferer, not because of the headaches, but because I never come here til I'm in cycle. I come here and read others talking about it, rarely post, but keep coming back daily to just know I'm not alone in this. that I'm not "abnormal".

I have skipped 3 years, thank god for the 'alternatives' I have found here, the only thing that ever aborted cycles for me.

Have been having these for 25 years now and hoped I had outgrown them, and now I think this cycle is even worse. Not the headaches themselves, I can handle that, it is the free time, when my mind runs, when I'm afraid to sleep due to the devil waiting. The working 12 hour shifts on 3 hours sleep... these are the times I'm going crazy, and having hoped beyond hope that I was free, and getting them now, I have really crashed emotionally, and that on top of the normal physical crash has me just lost....

But I'm a bad clusterhead, because there are so many of you that are here, even when you don't need the support, to help others, and that isn't me. I pretend it doesn't exist when I get free of my demon, I try to forget it exist....
Just saying thanks to those that give their time and their hearts all the time.

sorry if this is rambling, been hit 4 to 5 times every night, oxygen keeps me up after for some reason and running on about 8 hours sleep in the last 3 days.

thanks all
Mark Hebert

Welcome Mark!  Glad you decided to post.

You'll get no 'shame on you's' here for wanting to pretend when you can that the beast doesn't exist for you.  Everyone handles things differently so no worries there. 

Personally I find it easier to help someone else than to talk about the hard times I have with CH.  But then I am also a very private person generally so suffering quietly and helping others is my preferred method.

What preventative are you on for CH ?  Maybe time to ramp up or ask your Doc about alternatives??

Sending PF vibes your way and I hope things get better soon for you.

Mark,

I'm the same way. I found this site 6 years ago and spent a lot of time reading and learning. Then I left until last year when I stopped in for a quick look around. This year I'm back for good. It's so easy to pretend that I'm not ECH when I'm in remission. The topic never comes up till I get hit. Then it's the only thing that gets talked about.

Good luck to you.

@ Ginger - I love your cartoon graphic. One of my personal faves.

~ Katie

Shame on you Mark!  >:(

Ha just kiddin'  ;D.

You got enough stuff going on right now without completely unwarranted guilt trips about escaping the thought of CH when not in cycle! Heck thank gosh that everyone isn't posting here both when in or outa cycle - that'd be a zoo.  :P

If your alternative methods have been of the clusterbuster variety and if you're not already hanging around at the clusterbusters.com forum, I wonder if you could pick up some pointers there such as newer ideas/approaches for maximizing the effectiveness?

ginger, I haven't been to the doc yet so not sure what she is going to try this year, I know one thing, I won't do Lithium again, it messed me up!

and I did use the clusterbuster 'cures'.... the shrooms worked fantastic for me, just my old friends either quit, or might be in jail now... lol

No shame Mark,hell this is the only time (PF) I can type and make any sense. :D

Have you tried Melatonin before bed?? Work wonders for some.

was just reading about the melatonin, going to get some now... I have always wondered about the daylight effect, but I work nights and sleep days, well, used to sleep during the days.... now I just do my 100 year old man shuffle in the bathroom... :'(

will post with how it works out after I try it.

Quote:

I come here and read others talking about it, rarely post, but keep coming back daily to just know I'm not alone in this. that I'm not "abnormal".

What's wrong with being abnormal? It kinda makes us unique dontcha know? I mean, just think of how many times in conversation you can mention how much it hurts to take a cluster hit, and how they don't know what it's like, and all that good stuff. Seriously, dude, you're just fine; your brain (and ours) may have something messed up with it, but I've been told that for years without any reference to CHs. Keep reading and writing and let us know how you make out at the docs. God bless! lance

Hi Mark.  Yes, guilt is lame and overrated so let it go...but just because you can't get your psilocybe friends don't forget about other medicines.  RC seeds work great for many and are legal to obtain over the internet, just not legal to ingest, so don't ingest them, just obtain them (wink).  That's my understanding anyways.  Check out the busters and they can give you more info if you want.   :)

--Shaggy