Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich ..

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



And The Number 1 Thought: Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last long."