Just an inquiry..

I've noticed in many threads there's a number of "old timer" posters who don't seem to contribute much of anything to threads other then jabs at other members of the forums.

What's up with people acting like total jerks to others seemingly at random?

What kind of question is that?

learn the ways or you will be eaten alive, we all had to learn this, like it or leave, this is the way it is, before asking questions starting a topic, etc read as much as you can including archives using the google search...many "oldtimers" as you refer are just tired of doing all the homework for the newbies who may or may not stick around once they get their answers.  learn the site, follow the rules and you will be treated respectfully...welcome aboard

Loric wrote on Mar 18^th, 2010 at 10:41pm:

Just an inquiry.. I've noticed in many threads there's a number of "old timer" posters who don't seem to contribute much of anything to threads other then jabs at other members of the forums. What's up with people acting like total jerks to others seemingly at random?

Lame posts will get your head handed to ya.

          Potter

Loric wrote on Mar 18^th, 2010 at 10:41pm:

What's up with people acting like total jerks to others seemingly at random?

Hey shut up.

(Kidding)  :D

Loric....

CH.com does have a standard of conduct outlined by DJ in this post: START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE

We have all kinds here and it's not sunshine, roses and puppy dogs all the time. Most everyone is here to help in their own way. If someone rubs you the wrong way just over look them. If someone makes a personal attack, alert a moderator or the site owners.

Well, i'm not new the internet. I'm part of plenty of forums and great at handing people their (think "not head") when appropriate - but that's when discussing frivolous stuff.

People come here for help when they're in pain. Why kick someone when they're down?

Loric wrote on Mar 19^th, 2010 at 1:32am:

People come here for help when they're in pain.

Your statement assumes that they're all legit.

Also consider this: There are over 7,300 registered members here. Think cross-section of society.

Last I checked, it's not just the flower people that are stricken with CH.

Quote:

If someone makes a personal attack, alert a moderator or the site owners.

With 8 of us as moderators, you probably won't have to alert us.  One of us will have seen it by that time.

We DO sometimes get snake-oil salesmen here, or   People  who are NOT what they appear to be, folks who like to sign up here JUST to cause trouble.  In the almost 12 years this site has been here, we have seen it over and over again.   People here WILL react to that.
The majority of us truly want to help anyone who comes here,  to navigate through the maze of info. that's available and be supportive. 

Whenever someone is not following DJ's rules, we will hide/lock a topic that has gone South and alert the webmaster. 

Part of a message I posted on another site about dealing with uncivil people & messages:

"5. I'd suggest that you work from a position of "intelligent selfishness", that is, don't read or respond to people who you find troublesome or offensive. I suspect that most of us can get the tone of a message from reading a few words. If it's going in the wrong direction, scroll past/delete it. "Selfishness" says, don't read the whole thing and think about a response for this will only arouse distress or some level of internal upset. Responding won't change the other person and your effort will add to your frustration. "Selfishness" says, engage with those who are civil, don't encourage the uncivil by responding to them.

"6. This is not an argument for avoiding differences of fact. An all male group (on the subject of prostate cancer--talk about a subject for passion) I belong to often has intense debates. For the most part, they are based on medical information, informed judgments, and wrestling with evaluations of medical information. Intense, but generally respectful.

"Problems arise when the issue moves from the issue to the person. Folks who personalize, either what others write or what they say in response, will tend to move into interpersonal conflict. The best single way to avoid uncivility is to use discipline is keeping your words/thoughts on the topic, not on the other person's motives, intentions, etc. (A disadvantage of electronic communications is that it allows for impulsive behavior. Self-discipline, or an attitude of civility, would be served by typing the message, then putting into the "drafts" box until you cool down. It's interesting how many of my messages don't make it past this point!)"

--------
The last step if you can't learn how to handle some people: look for the "ignore" button on the left side of a message. It will block anything that person posts.

I look at it this way.  We here are all dealing with extreame pain issues that are enough to make anyone a bit cranky.  I just ignore it and pray for the person to have a better day.  Also I believe there is an ignore function on this website so you can choose to ignore posts from a certain person if reading them upsets you.

WOW!!   

All the "oldtimers" here on the board have dedicated many hours and much more helping people who arrive here in pain and terrified.  They have btdt and I trust their bs meter.


Quote:

What's up with people acting like total jerks to others seemingly at random?

I'll ask you the same question because quite frankly your question is the pot calling the kettle black.  I'm here everyday and while I do not read every single post, I have not seen the "many" posts from "oldtimers" that are kicking anyone when they are down.  This thread is an insult.  Don't like what you read, skip or click on the big red X on the top right.

LasVegas wrote on Mar 18^th, 2010 at 10:48pm:

learn the ways or you will be eaten alive, we all had to learn this, like it or leave, this is the way it is, before asking questions starting a topic, etc read as much as you can including archives using the google search...many "oldtimers" as you refer are just tired of doing all the homework for the newbies who may or may not stick around once they get their answers.  learn the site, follow the rules and you will be treated respectfully...welcome aboard

For a relatively new graduate from the "newbie" level Las Vegas has learned a lot in a hurry! :D

While I try to be on here to support as much as I can I have found in the last couple of months that I cannot handle the "Getting to know you" section.  It is not that I don't care!  Quite the contrary.  I used to spend most of my time there and in the Guest Book welcoming newbies to the site and trying to answer their questions.  The problem is that I have been getting hit pretty badly for the last 3+ months and I find it difficult to be patient with those who know no better.  So, rather than to be short with a newbie who is not doing his/her own homework I have avoided that section.  I feel badly about it, but it is better.

As you spend more time on here and get to know the personalities of some of the posters you will find that some of our more ascerbic posters are actually the ones who care the most.  They just don't suffer fools gladly.

I'm glad you are here.  I think from what I've seen of your posts that you have a lot to offer.  Perhaps you can make up on the " softer, gentler side" for those of us who tend to be more to the point.

Jerry

Play Nice...

You know the saying.. There is good and bad everywhere you go. I do know there is bad everywhere, just not so sure about the good part.

Coach Bill

1.  Please be more specific.  Comment on the specific posts and maybe you will find out the reasons.  Starting a new topic like this will only get some people defensive and others (like me) scratching our heads wondering what you are talking about.

2.  Yes, we have all kinds here, but there is 1 very common thread in the majority of our "oldtimers"...... they will help out anyone with CH with advice and sometimes a lot more if they NEED it. 

3.  You are obviously not a child nor are you a newbie to internet forums so I am sure I don't have to tell you how ironic it is to post an attack on oldtimers for attacking others. 

If you would like to discuss anything about this site or CH, there are many of us (myself included) who would be happy to do so at any time.  Send me a PM and I'll be happy to chat!

I should have read a few of your post first to see if you deserved and unfriendly people then thought i know I didnt years ago when i first came to this site. Just ignore the so called unfriendly people here and embrace the ones that help you , not to mention all the information here that is so life saving . Afterall were all in this together jerks and all.

Specific example:

vietvet2tours

Look up his posting history and see what positive has been posted, I'd love to know. All I've seen is blatant antagonism that moderators have chosen to ignore.

Loric wrote on Mar 20^th, 2010 at 5:21pm:

Specific example: vietvet2tours Look up his posting history and see what positive has been posted, I'd love to know. All I've seen is blatant antagonism that moderators have chosen to ignore.

If I gotta fuck with you just to get oxygen I win.

                Potter

Quote:

I've noticed in many threads there's a number of "old timer" posters who don't seem to contribute much of anything to threads other then jabs at other members of the forums.

Unless you've researched the last 10 - 15 years of those old timer posts I suggest you go take a nap.

Potter's advice is spot on 99.5% of the time.

If you're looking to have sunshine blown up your skirt, go here:

START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE

Loric wrote on Mar 20^th, 2010 at 5:21pm:

Specific example: vietvet2tours Look up his posting history and see what positive has been posted, I'd love to know. All I've seen is blatant antagonism that moderators have chosen to ignore.

If you focused on the content of his posts and not the tone, you would really understand.  His followup post sums it up quite well.

Also remember that "oldtimers" have by definition been here a long time and you cant always sum up their contributions with a quick look at post history.

You people really are blind.

Assholes like him do nothing but discourage people from seeking help. There's not good advice being masked by a bad attitude - no one is going to listen to a word he says when approached that way.

I assure you that he's done nothing but reprehensible amounts more harm to people who have come here seeking input rather then guided them into the right direction.

If you can't see that and can't understand the basic psychology of that.. well, there's no helping you. I'd rather actually see people get help then just stand up for some curmudgeon friend so I've got the moral high ground.

Take your pot shots. Lob it at me. Explain away, rationalize, try to say why it's ok to be rotten to people you've never met but you know are having problem and who are trying to cope with terrible circumstances. Try to tell me what justifies actively trying to get people not to post on this forum when a lack a knowledge about CH is distinctly responsible for most of the problems we encounter with the pain. Try to tell me that's ok.

Jerk.

This pissing contest is over. >:(