TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find  North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile?'
GLENN:  K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:  Maybe it is wrong, but you  asked me how I spell it.  (I  Love this kid)
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TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.   
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have  today that we didn't have ten years  ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so  dirty?
GLEN:  Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.   
               ******************
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE:  I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
                *************
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:  Because George still had the axe in his hand..    
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TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.   
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is the same as your Brother's. Did you copy his work?
CLYDE: No Sir, It's the same dog.   
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

;D