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Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> They Walk Among Us http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1251220659 Message started by Sandy_C on Aug 25th, 2009 at 1:17pm |
Title: They Walk Among Us Post by Sandy_C on Aug 25th, 2009 at 1:17pm
Why our country is in trouble
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble! 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!) 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ..'' Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa '' Her response -- click. 3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OH MY) 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OH MY, again!) 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh) 6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that. 7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. 8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?'' 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.'' 10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!'' 11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!'' 12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ...'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere." ''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?'' The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'' Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED. I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around. |
Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by JeffB on Aug 25th, 2009 at 1:22pm
Americans casts the ballots......let us be more careful in 2010.
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Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by Sandy_C on Aug 25th, 2009 at 3:33pm
My fear is the part at the bottom that says...
They continue to breed! Sandy |
Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by JeffB on Aug 25th, 2009 at 6:30pm
I'm sure they have staff set set the "Breeding" sessions up.
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Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by Ginger S. on Aug 25th, 2009 at 9:02pm
Years ago I managed an Avis rent a car facility in an airport.
One day the Mayor comes in asks to rent a car. No Problem I asked for his drivers license and a credit card. He provide both. While looking at his drivers license I notice it has expired. "Sir I'm sorry but I can not rent you a car with an expired license." Mayor: "But I'm the mayor can't you just rent me one anyway?" Me: "No sir I am sorry but it is illegal to rent a car to someone with an invalid license." Mayor "What If I have someone with a valid license rent it for me and I drive it?" Me: "No sir I'm sorry but that won't work either." The mayor then proceeds to go to two other rental agencies with the same out of date license to try to rent a car, he had no luck there either. You might think he was done at this point but no... He comes back to me and demands I rent him a car because he is the mayor and needs to be in another town by a certain time. Me: "Sir again as I stated it is illegal for me to rent you a car. You can have someone with a valid license rent it and drive you there if you wish." Mayor:" [smiley=mad.gif] " I would list the profanity laced tirade he went off with but, I'm afraid I would severely damage some young minds. He proceeded to Scream at the top of his lungs that he would have my job and would speak with upper management about me including the airport manager. He didn't have to wait long for the airport manager because he happened to be wandering around the terminal by us at the time. The airport manager then proceeded to guide the Mayor (still screaming by the way) out of the building with security trailing not far behind. By the way... I also rented cars to the secret service for the 1st president Bush, without any such hassles and got a white-house accommodation for my services, Long after the mayors tirade of course. ;D Yes this is a TRUE story and it really happened to me :D |
Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by JeffB on Aug 26th, 2009 at 9:47pm
Unbelievable. It's funny how some can feel soo entitled. Did you vote for him? LOL
ETA, I can't spell unbelievable |
Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by Ginger S. on Aug 26th, 2009 at 9:50pm
oh My NO... He never got my vote LOL
Can you believe he was dumb enough to ask if someone else could rent it for him and he drive it ??? OMG how dumb can you get??? :D |
Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by JeffB on Aug 26th, 2009 at 9:56pm
I'm a man, I can get pretty dumb! So I have told.
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Title: Re: They Walk Among Us Post by Ginger S. on Aug 27th, 2009 at 5:04pm
We won't hold that fact against you Jeff :D
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